


Two Marriages, One Bachelor Party, and A Confession

by saucyminx



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-07
Updated: 2010-04-07
Packaged: 2017-10-28 09:35:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night can change everything. Jared and Jensen learn this the hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The room was spinning dangerously around him, colors blurring each time he turned his head. Which was happening quite frequently since Jensen was on a quest for his co-star/roommate/best friend and so far was unable to locate him. Someone across the room called his name and Jensen waved, not wanting to be rude, and prayed the person wouldn't come over to talk because at this particular moment in time he was having issues remembering his own name, let alone someone else's. "Damn," he slurred and tilted his head up. It shouldn't be _that hard_ to find Jared, the guy kind of stood out in a crowd.

"Aha!" Jensen cheered for his success when he spotted Jared across the room, head dipped down to listen to whatever the blonde beside him was saying. He rose a moment later and, for just a beat, their eyes met. Jensen grinned, even brighter when Jared's lips curled up, and Jensen stayed rooted to the spot. Jared would come locate him now because they'd spent enough time together over the last few years to communicate silently. Jensen had sent a clear _M'drunk, let's go home._ And Jared's response had been _m'more drunk than you bitch. Be there in a few._ With a laugh Jensen leaned back against the wall and looked toward the man at the door. Key man. "Hey, can you. Erm. A cab. Please?" He dipped his head toward the man and smiled when he received a laugh in return.

Cab was taken care of, Jared was on his way over, and Jensen liked how the world seemed a bit out of his control at the moment, like he was floating or something and nothing else mattered. Then a strong hand was curling around his arm, bringing him back to solid ground, and Jensen's head fell back against the wall, eyes slowly opening though he hadn't realized he'd closed them. Jared was smiling down at him and Jensen laughed. "Dude. Your face." There was no real point to the comment only it always made Jared laugh and Jensen was glad he had created an epic bond with a happy drunk.

Leaning hard against Jensen's side, Jared tried to get his breath back. _No one_ made him laugh like Jensen. Not in his entire life, not his brother and sister, certainly never any of the women he'd dated - it was obviously a guy thing. "Man," he sucked in another breath and laughed softly, "Fuck you're funny sometimes." Sniffing, Jared shook his head slightly then groaned. "I think my lips might be numb." He poked at his mouth, dragging his bottom lip down then letting go so it made a hollow popping sound when snapped back up. Of course, that amused him and he started chuckling all over again.

"Bitch, I'm funny _all_ the time." Jensen corrected through a slur and reached up to poke Jared's lips as well. As if that could tell him whether they were numb or not. "Why your nips lumb? I mean, why, nips. Lips. Lips numb!" Jensen grinned in success at getting the words right and hooked his finger into Jared's belt loop to keep him close. They were both swaying toward each other and away and Jensen felt the weight of his eyelids every time he blinked.

"You're gonna pass out." Jared laughed again and slumped back against the wall. Unfortunately, the wall was a little further away than he expected so it wasn't nearly as graceful as it should have been. He managed to stop himself from falling over by hanging on to Jensen's shoulder and slapping his free hand against the wall. "Dude, I'm a ninja." He couldn't really see through his hair which had flopped forward as he thudded against the wall.

For a good minute Jensen thought about that comment then laughed, definitely delayed, and wondered if someone had been secretly feeding him drinks cause he didn't seem to remember being this drunk earlier. "Wait. You said, oh _yeah_ your _lips_." Jensen looked up toward Jared, squinting slightly and giggling a bit too girlie but it didn't bother his drunk self.

"Okay guys, the cabs here. It's out front." The man from before, Key Man Jensen remembered, tapped Jensen shoulder and pointed to the door.

Jensen grinned and tugged on Jared's belt loop, free hand lifting to point at Key Man. "You. Are awesome." It was a trademark move by this point and Jensen laughed as they stumbled forward, bumping into each other then opposite walls then back together to get through the door. " _So_ ready for bed. No more walkin' for me." Jensen sang the words slightly, throwing his arm around Jared's waist to cling to the equally drunk man for support.

"You're just the per-" Jared hiccupped and stumbled forward a little, "fect height." It was perfectly, awesome the way his arm fit right over Jensen's shoulders. "It's like we were _made_ to be best friends. Oh! Jen! Jen!" Jared laughed softly and struggled to get something out of his pocket, "phone number. That blonde, she _really_ likes you and said to give you this but I told her you weren't interste - interp - looking for dates."

"I want no number!" Jensen huffed; dropping the paper and watching it flutter to the ground slightly with a laugh. "Prob- probably just wants the sex. I give good- oh. Head rush." Jensen closed his eyes and let Jared guide them forward.

They didn't so much _arrive_ at the side of the cab as _collided with it_. The driver, of course, was completely used to driving people home who were remarkably drunk so he was looking straight ahead and ignoring them as they tried to clamber over each other to get into the back seat. Jared's height was a distinct disadvantage when he had had a couple of beers. "Dude, back seats are not good when you're me." Half falling against Jensen, Jared gave up and flopped down onto his friend's lap.

Jensen's hands found a place settled on Jared's body and his head fell back against the seat, smile still playing on his lips. "Poor Pada-Padalac, dude. Your last name. Not drunk friendly." Jensen lamented with an overtly dramatic sigh and began to rub his friends back. "Did you drink the jungle juice? I _warned_ you about the jungle juice. Dangerous stuff. Dangerous." With a solemn half nod Jensen sank into the seat, humming in the drunken pleasure.

"MMhhhmmm." Jared wasn't even sure what he was agreeing with but he really wasn't too concerned; he generally agreed with Jensen so it was probably the right answer. He tried to say something and realized that his face was pressed against Jensen's thigh. That maybe should have bothered him but it didn't. One, he was drunk and didn't care about much and two; he was getting a sweet backrub and hadn't even had to ask. Jensen had very strong fingers and Jared was very fond of them being on his back. Dragging his lips across Jensen's jeans Jared managed to move his head far enough to the side to speak. "M'drunk. I. Am."

Jensen's second hand joined in a sudden deep and hard massage across Jared's back, finger tips working the muscles more expertly than someone so drunk should be able too. At some point he was pretty sure Jared moaned and the strangest fluttering sensation bloomed in his belly. It was exaggerated as Jared's head turned and almost nuzzled his _crotch_. "Whoa," Jensen murmured and slipped his hands low enough on Jared's back to push under his shirt and massage flesh. "Your head. It's like, right there." Not that it was really a problem for Jensen, he knew things between himself and Jared were cool and he trusted the guy with his life so it was just a result of too much alcohol, this closeness. Only they were always real close so really, it wasn't.

As far as Jared was concerned - Jensen could have his hands on his back _any_ damn time he wanted. Really, there was pretty much nothing that Jared wouldn't let Jensen do, he thought. He briefly figured there might be something remarkably unusual about thinking that but was distracted again by Jensen's fingers hitting that muscle in his lower back that always ached like a bastard after he'd be stooping down to listen to people all night. A pleasant feeling bloomed in his chest, not unlike the butterflies he got before going onstage somewhere. "You good?" Jared was pretty pleased that he managed to get out a coherent half sentence. "We almost home?" He liked home. Home was where the dogs were and Jensen. Home was good.

Peeling his eyes open, Jensen peered out the window and had to blink a good ten times before he could make out the location they were traveling through. "Oh yeah, almost home." A smile played across his lips almost dreamily now and Jensen was still rubbing Jared's back but hardly realized it. Like touching Jared was an automatic thing or something. "M'sleepy," he murmured after awhile, watching the lights blurring past in the window. "Neighborhood!" Jensen cheered when they finally turned into their neighbourhood.

"Don't worry." Jared yawned and dragged his hand up to pat Jensen on the chest, "I'll put you to bed soon." The feel of Jensen's shirt was nice, it was soft and Jared could feel his friend just underneath, warm and solid, _Jensen_. Smiling softly Jared rubbed his palm back and forth over the soft material. All these years working together and just when he was starting to worry that everything might change they'd found out they had been renewed for another season. The Winchesters would go on for another twenty episodes; the truly awesome part of that was that it meant Jared and Jensen would go on for another year. Laughing quietly, Jared half snorted and patted Jensen's chest again.

"Shh you sound like a piggy," Jensen grinned and fumbled when the cab pulled up to a stop in their driveway. He pushed at Jared, managing to wiggle free enough to get the car door open and nearly tumble out onto the driveway. "Whoa, dude. I'm a fucking ballerina." Jensen said after a half spin that kept him upright, even if he was swaying a bit. He jammed his hand into pocket and pulled out his wallet, grabbing a couple bills and hurrying around the cab to pay the driver. His eyes lifted over the car to see Jared attempting to pull himself from the vehicle and he laughed. "Need some help there gigantor?"

"M'good," Jared half mumbled and half laughed as he slid less than gracefully off the back seat and landed in a half-assed crouch on the sidewalk. Gravity seemed to be working a lot better than usual and the cool air was taking a bit of the edge off Jared's warm alcohol-induced buzz. Whipping his head around to see where Jensen made things a little worse. The world seemed to take entirely too long to catch up with Jared's line of sight. "Whoa," he murmured.

Laughing, Jensen managed to stumble over to Jared's side and pull him up and close, wrap an arm around his middle once more. "Seriously dude, you shouldn't, um, you shouldn’t drink. So much anyway. _Don't fall_ ," Jensen nearly groaned as Jared swerved slightly and for one moment he thought they both might just collapse on the sidewalk. "Not gonna be able to go up stairs huh? Sleepover!" He fell against Jared's side, putting entirely too much faith in the man keeping them upright.

Jared couldn't seem to stop laughing even though he didn't have the energy anymore for what Jensen liked to refer to as his _superJaredlaugh_. "S'nice outside," Jared murmured. As he turned to speak to Jensen his face ended up buried in his friend’s hair. It was kinda spiky and tickled the end of Jared's nose but it smelled pretty good. "You smell good," he muttered as they veered dangerously off course for a few moments. When he managed to steer them back toward the front door Jared took another big sniff of Jensen's hair, curling his hand over Jensen's neck to hold him still. "Yeah, I like that."

Shoving weakly at him, Jensen's head tilted back slightly. "Would ya stop gettin' off to my hair and open the door?" Jensen was sure the look on his face was beyond goofy. "I got keys," Jensen pulled his keys free from his pocket, shaking them in front of Jared's face. "Do your cheeks hurt? Cause you're smilin' a lot." Jensen reached up with his free hand and poked Jared's dimple, stepping forward until their hips rested together to stop the swaying.

Jared's brows drew together as he tried to find a name for the strange sensation swirling to life inside his chest...and other places which had to be one hundred per cent completely because he was drunk. "You make me smile a lot, like a _lot_ a lot." It had made sense inside Jared's head but not so much once it came out of his mouth. "Gimme the keys." Jared's fingers wrapped around Jensen's as he snatched feebly at the keys. It was funny, Jensen was a _big_ guy, well-built, worked out and then Jared's hands seemed like they were twice the size of his friends.

For some weird reason Jensen found himself leaning flush against Jared's body, wrapping an arm around the man's shoulder. "Think you could carry me in?" Jensen murmured, dropping his head to Jared's neck and nuzzling into the skin to get comfortable. "For the record, you smell. Good I mean. You smell, _good_." Jensen breathed in the scent of Jared's skin and decided that _yeah_ his friend smelt really fucking good.

"Carry you? What are you three?" Jared laughed again and finally managed to get the door open and steer them both inside. "I can _throw_ you on the bed if you like." For some reason Jared found that highly amusing and kept a hold of Jensen as he struggled to lock the door behind them. None of their progress was helped by Harley and Sadie appearing out of nowhere and leaping up against Jared's back.

"Hi kids! Mommy and Daddy are home," Jared cooed down at whichever dog was hoping up to lick his face. "Make sure you kiss your Mommy Jensen too." Pressing his lips together to hide his smirk Jared propped Jensen against the door for a moment while he aimed at the bowl on the front table that they left their keys in. It took a couple of tries but he managed to get the keys into the bowl.

"I am no Mommy!" Jensen huffed and petted the dog that bounced at his feet slowly. He thought it was Harley, 'cause he seemed bigger. "This is an equal partners-partner um, anyway, we both the Daddy's. It's like; Harley and Sadie have two daddies. Fuckin' kid’s book." Jensen rubbed at his eyes slowly and squinted over at Jared. "Bed."

Slipping his arm under Jensen's shoulders Jared tugged his friend back against his chest. "C'mon you." The dogs had already settled, deciding that the odds of them convincing someone to feed them an extra dinner weren't good.

Jensen's bedroom was definitely easier to get to than Jared's. There were a _lot_ of rather nasty stairs involved in getting to Jared's. Between the two of them they managed to get the door to Jensen's bedroom open and after only a few moments of being stuck in the door frame and a great deal of laughter they burst into the room. "God, you're trouble when you're drunk," Jared muttered as they staggered toward the bed. "Bed..." Jared hummed and walked backwards in the general direction of his friend's bed.

It took more energy than he thought he had left to get out of his jeans but there was no way Jensen was sleeping in the material, talk about not comfortable at all. "No drooling on my pillow!" He insisted and almost ran for the bed, launching off the ground and tackling Jared onto the mattress just as he was kicking his second shoe off. "I win. You gotta do my chores for a _month_." Jensen mumbled into Jared's shoulder where he was currently lodged.

Jared's jeans were half undone, his shirt pulled up across his chest and he had an arm full of Jensen. A little random, sure, but not entirely unpleasant. Jared smiled and pulled his head back enough to try and focus his eyes on Jensen's face. "You have a good time?" He blinked a few times as his friends face swam in and out of focus; Jensen had very nice lips for a guy - well - for anybody really. Lifting his finger Jared ran it across Jensen's bottom lip. "Soft," he murmured, "bet the girls like kissin' you."

Chuckling, deep and rough from the drunken sleepy haze working through him, Jensen wet his lips, catching Jared's finger tip in the process. "I have been told I'm a very good kisser." He admitted in a pleased whisper, smiling softly. "Bet the girls like kissin' you too. My unusually handsome friend." Which was true, Jared had a unique hot thing going for him that Jensen would never admit to envying.

Letting his fingers trail down Jensen's chin Jared smiled and stared hard at Jensen's lips. He thought he was going to _just_ think about kissing Jensen, you know, the way people wonder about things they'll never do but then he leaned forward a little and with pretty bad aim managed to press his own lips to the corner of Jensen's mouth. His friends lips _were_ soft, and pretty smooth and it wasn't at all a bad thing - which might have been a bad thing in itself - but Jared was entirely too drunk to be able to figure out something quite that complicated.

There probably should have been warning bells going off in Jensen's mind, but that wasn't the case. No, instead Jensen found himself tilting into the kiss, pressing his lips more firmly against Jared's. There was the definite taste of alcohol there but Jensen could make out other things he couldn't name. Something warm and tangible bubbled low in his body and Jensen experimentally slid his tongue forward, tracing the curves of Jared's lips. A soft, surprised little moan pulsed through him and Jensen's hand planted firmly on Jared's chest, sliding up until he found skin above the collar of Jared's shirt.

If Jared could have managed to speak the only word he would have managed to get out was "oh." Something fluttered through Jared's body and it was good, _too_ good if he really took the time to think about what he was doing. _Kissing Jensen._ No - he was just going to enjoy it - because it was making him feel warm and tingly and he could feel his friend's fingers grazing his collar bone and that was _extra nice_. Rolling slightly Jared managed to twist his body into a more comfortable position and it sent a little flare of heat across his hips.

Something about kissing Jared felt oddly natural, like his lips were almost made to slide against Jared and his tongue held no reservations in pushing between Jared's parted lips. Then again, Jensen was _really_ drunk so his mind wasn't exactly in the best place. It didn't stop him from trailing his hand back down though, pushing at the hem of Jared's shirt until he could feel the warmth of his skin. That felt weirdly normal too, like his hand was almost _eager_ to move over sculpted abs and broad pecs. Jensen realized, after it had happened, that he was actually getting turned _on_ by all of this and even that wasn't as much of a surprise as it should have been.

Moaning softly Jared rolled back to pull Jensen closer to the pillows. He was almost scared to pull back. He didn't want to break the kiss because _God_ drunk maybe but he could feel it right down to his _toes_ and it felt really good. Angling back just a little he discovered he could still glide his tongue over Jensen's while he fumbled with the buttons on his friend’s shirt. The _heat_ coming of Jensen's skin was crazy. Crazy-good and as soon as the shirt was open Jared slid his arms back around his friends and delighted in the sensation of skin and against skin. Another moan worked its way out of Jared's throat as he breathed out and Jensen's mouth seemed to be pressing harder for a few seconds before Jared's body kicked in and realized that it was really hot.

Suddenly the idea of feeling Jared's chest against his own sounded like the most appealing idea _ever_ and Jensen pushed up at the fabric, tugging and pulling in attempt to free Jared from the shirt without breaking the kiss. Eventually it occurred to him that this wasn't going to work and Jensen pulled back, yanking the shirt up and over Jared's head, sliding it off his arms and tossing it to the side. Jensen also took the time to shrug out of his own shirt and send it to join Jared's on the floor. When he turned back, Jared was staring at him through half lidded eyes that were glassy from alcohol but dark, like lust was deepening their color and building the flush on his cheeks. Jensen swallowed thickly, reaching out to trace Jared's lower, kiss swollen lip. "Jared..." he breathed, wetting his own lips before falling down once more, lips crashing hard against Jared's, tongue thrusting forward as his chest pressed into his friend's and spiked heat through him.

It was almost impossible for Jared to gasp while Jensen was kissing him. Their lips were sliding roughly, mouths opening and closing slightly as they sucked and licked and kissed. _Something_ in Jared's mind began that almost silent nagging that _this_ was definitely not something they should be doing. Friends don't make out with friends, not friends who are six foot tall male co-stars and completely straight. But the moan that spiraled up and out of Jared was louder than that nagging voice because kissing Jensen, being _kissed_ by Jensen was about the hottest thing he'd experienced in a very long time. Jensen _was_ a great kisser, no doubt about it and their lips continued to move together, apart and back together like they'd done it a million times before.

Jared felt like one big massive heater pressed against his side and Jensen was easily losing himself in that feeling, mind spinning in that still drunken haze heightened with the delicious slide of Jared's lips. Some vague part of Jensen's mind acknowledged that he shouldn't have found the whole, kissing his best friend thing that appealing but it had been awhile. And no one else in his life was more important than Jared recently so, maybe they were always heading toward this path. Whatever the reasoning behind it, Jensen kissed Jared until he could barely breathe, until his lips felt tingling and swollen. Then he pulled back enough to sleepily open his eyes and peer at the man through the dark of the room, wondering why they'd never bothered to turn the light on. "Whoa," Jensen whispered and leaned in again, possibly a little addicted.

"Mhmmm," Jared murmured. The flesh of Jensen's chest against his was warm and slightly damp with sweat and Jared was having trouble understanding how they had ended up _making out_. Blinking a few times, letting his eyes struggle to adjust to the dark Jared smiled crookedly and buried his face in his friend’s neck. "I really like the way you smell," he mumbled. "That's probably weird right?" Chuckling quietly Jared swung his leg over Jensen's. "Like... you."

"You said that. The smell thing." Jensen murmured and pressed as close to Jared as he could, wrapping an arm around his waist. "I like you." He smiled sleepily and his heart did an odd little clench that he immediately shrugged off to the alcohol taking up part of his blood stream. "My lips tingle," Jensen chuckled softly, whispering because it felt weird to talk louder while they were still in the dark.

"Tingle," Jared echoed as he wriggled slightly, burrowing down into Jensen's bed. "M'sleep now." Lips buzzing and swollen Jared let his head fall back onto one of Jensen's pillows. There was a stupid grin on his face, he knew it, because he was actually happy and warm and feeling like being wrapped around Jensen was pretty damn comfortable. It was good - and he could feel himself relaxing strangely into the idea that this might be something he would do again, maybe even sober. But sleep was already tugging at his mind, pulling him away from the warmth of Jensen's chest pressed hard against his.

"Night Jared," Jensen breathed, head pillowing almost on Jared's chest. He could almost hear the man's heart. Or his mind was creating the noise because it was attempting to stop spinning. Jensen closed his eyes to help out with the feeling and sighed softly, settling in for sleep.

-=-=-=-

While Jared was trying to wake up - he came to the conclusion that someone had beaten him about the face and neck with a polo mallet. He wasn't entirely sure what a polo mallet was made of but he'd seen one on TV once and the force with which the players smacked that little ball around felt about right for the way his head was throbbing. Sweat had dampened the hair at the back of his neck and he shifted to try and get cooler only to find he was pretty much pinned to the bed.

Finally managing to convince one of his eyes to open Jared looked down to discover a familiar tuft of golden brown hair. "Jensen?" Jared glanced around the room, Jensen's room, not his own bedroom - which was odd -but not unheard of. Granted, it was a little strange to wake up with Jensen plastered to him. _Plastered to his bare chest._ "Jensen?! Dude..." Jared groaned as he tried to move his head too quickly.

"Shh," Jensen smacked at the body against his, and scrunched his eyes up, trying to fall back into the pleasant dream he'd been having about relaxing in a hot sauna. It had been quiet and peaceful and very warm. Jensen wasn't really keen to leave the place but now the person there was pushing at him and Jensen groaned, flopping over too quickly and almost slipping off the side of the bed. His eyes shot open as he scrambled for purchase on the sheets and he hissed at the flare of a headache. Then his gaze locked on Jared and he frowned. "Man, why did you wake me up? _Fuck_ , my head," Jensen groaned and buried his face into the pillow.

"You were _on_ me." Jared rolled over and felt down his body quite relieved to feel his jeans even if they were unbuttoned. "We...okay we-" Entirely too much reality was trying to worm its way into Jared's mind for the state he was in. He could remember the sensation of lips brushing his, mouths working together - his eyes shot open and he sat up - "You kissed, I, we ..." Giving up Jared just stared down at Jensen.

Closing his eyes slowly, Jensen allowed his brain to sort through the last night. Warmth spread down his spine and Jensen pushed up, looking away. "Oh." His tongue slid unconsciously over his lips and Jensen rubbed his brow. "Uh, I guess um, we... were really drunk." He could remember things vividly now and they kept growing, until Jensen was pretty sure he could still hear the way Jared sounded when he moaned. "But it was just, it was only, you know, a thing. Cause we were drunk."

Jared turned to face his friend and studied his profile. "A thing..." he reached out and slipped his fingers over Jensen's shoulders - something he had done a million times before but this time there was just that little extra warmth that surprised him. Squeezing gently Jared laughed softly, "whoa. Not what I expected." He withdrew his hand and watched Jensen for some sign that things were still going to be okay. Nothing would be worse than screwing things up between them - Jensen was the best friend that Jared had ever had...hell, he'd practically grown up by Jensen's side.

At first, he'd watched Jensen - checking to see how things worked on set and soon he'd been learning from the man’s commitment to acting and loving the chance to work with someone so talented. Those things still mattered but even more than that was the sense of comfort he drew from their friendship.

Smiling softly, Jensen turned toward his friend and gently punched his shoulder. "That's the _last_ time I let you talk me into going to another of those parties. We always drink _way_ too much." It was weird, the way Jensen felt oddly compelled to lean over and capture Jared's lips in another kiss just to see if it really did tingle like it did in his memory. "How's your head? Need some water?" It looked like Jared was still in his jeans but they were both shirtless and Jensen was only in his boxers, sitting in his bed, and Jensen thought he might taste Jared's lips on his tongue so... getting up seemed like a good idea.

Feeling relief flood over him Jared grinned sheepishly. "The way I feel right now it's gonna be a very long time before I feel like doing that again." His smile faded a little and he blinked then dropped his gaze, "the drinking thing," he added. "Hey, you wanna go out to Denny's and have a really nasty-ass greasy breakfast?" Clearing his throat he rolled off the side of the bed and snatched his shirt up off the floor.

Standing as well, Jensen snagged his jeans and stepped into them, grabbing a shirt from the closet a moment later. "Sounds like a great idea. I think I might even be able to keep it down." Jensen knew the trick to a hangover was to get a good jump on it, get solid food down and don't push it by not eating. They'd done it enough times know to have a good idea about things. "Hey," Jensen caught Jared's arm halfway to the door, fingers curling around his elbow. "We... we're good right? I mean, it's all okay?" As long as things didn't change between them, that was important, and Jensen could deal with this weird urge to press his lips to Jared's later on.

"God, yeah..." Jared turned and threw his arms around Jensen's neck impulsively. The smell of his friend's hair kind of jolted something loose inside Jared and he felt a little like the ground had fallen out from under him but the most important thing was that their friendship was okay.

With a bright smile, brighter than it should be considering his hangover, Jensen squeezed Jared and planted a loud kiss to his neck before stepping back. "Good. 'Kay, you're paying for breakfast." Jensen laughed as he headed for the doorway, briefly touching his lips because even that brief contact made something fizzle and Jensen couldn't place the odd tight feeling in his chest.

Grinning, Jared sighed and rubbed at his neck then trailed after Jensen. As _long_ as things were okay.

 **-= Six months later =-**

Jensen hummed the tune to a song he didn't even really like and swore low under his breath. It was completely Jared's fault, the guy had been singing the catchy pop song for the better part of the last two weeks and now it was perpetually stuck in Jensen's head. It didn't upset him as much as it should have, but that was probably because it was Jared.   
More and more now-a-days Jensen was finding it hard to be upset with Jared about anything. Even the times when he left the milk on the counter or didn't bother waiting to strip until he got to his room, leaving a trail of clothes across the living room and up the stairs to his bedroom. Jensen would sigh and roll his eyes, slowly following the path and picking the discarded items.

Weirdly enough, Jensen found it kind of... endearing. Except this song thing. Jensen _hated_ having a song stuck in his head. It was brutal and he found himself singing it in the shower and dancing to it while he cooked dinner. Jared caught him the night before last and smirked, fingers grazing along his hipbone as he passed and laughed. Jensen was too busy trying not to blush to be annoyed with Jared about making fun of him.

Now he slapped the radio on just to find something else to listen too. _Of course_ the first station he flipped to was playing the song he'd been avoiding and Jensen groaned, hurriedly hitting the next preset for a different station.

"Next up on the Hollywood ten, we just got confirmation that Supernatural actor, Jensen Ackles, is engaged to long time girlfriend Danneel Harris. The couple are notoriously secretive about their relationship but we just got off the phone with Jensen's rep and he confirmed the news. Congrats to the happy couple!"

At some point during the DJ's words, Jensen had pulled over to the side of the road. Now he sat, staring out the windshield with slightly wide eyes, fingers tightening around the steering wheel. Music started playing on the station and Jensen's stomach churned uncomfortably. "What?" He asked thin air, blinking slowly. For just a moment Jensen thought he was going to be sick and he sucked in a sharp breath, starting the truck up again and peeling away from the side of the road loud enough his tires screeched.

It wasn't as if Jensen had a particular problem with Danneel Harris, she was a sweet girl and a friend he kept in occasional contact with. Only it was just _that_. They were only friends and had _never_ been anything more. So engaged, it was a bit over the top. Clearly there had been a misunderstanding somewhere, the radio DJ was wrong; Jensen had never heard anything about any plan so yeah. A mistake.

By the time Jensen pulled up to his PR agency he had rationalized the entire situation in his mind. It was a mistake, Jensen would have a correction made and things would get back on the right track. Because there were just too many things that would not be okay with, this.

"Hey Stacy," Jensen smiled to the girl at the front desk and ran a hand through his hair. "Is Marc in?"

The girl's face was slightly sympathetic and stirred up unpleasant things in Jensen's stomach. Even more so. "Yeah Jensen, he's been expecting you. Go ahead and go on in."

"Right." Jensen nodded and spun on his heels, crossing the small waiting room and pushing the door open without a knock. Marc was talking rapidly, presumably to the Bluetooth attached to his ear, and Jensen rolled his eyes, walking across the room. Marc held a finger up, acknowledged Jensen's presence, and Jensen pulled his own phone free to look down at it. There were no new messages yet so maybe no one else had heard the news. _God_ he hadn't even thought about his parent's reactions. "Shit." Jensen dropped heavily down into the chair there.

 _Jared_.

Right about now Jared would be on his jog, he always listened to the radio when he jogged, but probably not on the station. So it was really unlikely. Yeah, definitely. Jensen had to cling to that because otherwise...

"Hey there Jensen, good to see you. Honestly I expected you yesterday but well, what can we do." Marc grinned at him and it took Jensen a moment to realize he was being address, even though his name was said. "You need some water? You're looking a little green."

"I heard the weirdest thing on the radio," Jensen finally kicked into gear, pushing up from his chair. To his credit, Marc actually flinched, and it told Jensen more than he really wanted to know. "Engaged."

"Congratulations!" Marc grinned and stepped forward, clapping Jensen on the arm.

Jensen's heart clenched painfully and his knees dipped. "You didn't."

"Why so glum Jensen? Danneel Harris is drop dead gorgeous, and it's not like it'll have to be forever. Marry the girl, give it a few months, then you guys can get divorced if you want." Marc crossed to the back of his desk, sorting through the papers there. "Hey, we could even time it for a month or so after season six ends. Get your names back in the press and keep them there for awhile."

"Excuse me?" Jensen blinked slowly, still stuck on the whole _engaged_ thing. "Danneel and I aren't even dating! How could we possibly be engaged? She couldn't have gone along with this."

"She did, it's going to be a great career booster for her along with you. She's already signed the contract so there's really no getting out of it." Marc shrugged dismissively and clearly looked ready to drop the conversation.

Jensen was beyond shell shocked. "Contract. So this is like, just a, _damnit_ you're not paying her for this are you?"

Marc looked up sharply and laughed. "God no Jensen, I'm not stupid. And you'll both sign a prenup. Relax Jensen; you're not going to be spending much time with her anyway. A couple of photo ops, the wedding, and maybe some time overseas to make it believable. This is going to be just the boost you need."

It was pretty obvious why Marc hadn't spoken to Jensen about this, he never would have agreed. This just wasn't the type of thing he did. And then there was... Jared. And that whole thing was _really_ fucking complicated, basically six months since one drunken make out session that consisted of brushing fingers and bumped shoulders. Their hips randomly touching and things that could have been nothing but might have been _something_. And that wasn't worth taking the risk for. "I appreciate you trying to help. But this is really the sort of thing you should talk to me about. I... I kind of have someone right now. You know, I mean, we're not official or anything. It's just, it could be and-"

"Look Jensen, you're more than welcome to keep up that other relationship. Danneel isn't going to mind. In fact, she may be with someone already anyway. So really, no big deal. Just keep it to yourself." Marc waved a hand and smiled. "It's really no big deal Jensen. People do it all the time. Celebrities do. That's what matters. Anything else? I've got a real big meeting in ten."

Jensen had no real option but to stand, shaking his head and slowly turning. He couldn't believe this was happening, that he had found himself suddenly at this end of a deal. And the more he thought about it, the worse he began to feel. By the time he was back in his car Jensen could hardly breathe. He needed to get back to Jared, he needed to explain things before the man could hear it from someplace else and think something that wasn't true.

Because even if they weren't _really_ doing anything, even if they Jensen wasn't completely sure there was even a future for them, the very idea that there _could_ be something was enough to make Jensen's heart quicken. It hit him, along the drive home, that he cared for Jared, maybe even _loved_ him, and not for the first time in the last six months Jensen thought about kissing him, touching him. They were all things Jensen wanted very, very much.

So yeah, Jensen had this complication and it was going to take some time to sort it out but if there was a real chance for Jared and him, and then he would do whatever it took. It didn't even take the entire drive home to convince Jensen of that. He was just going to sit Jared down and explain his feelings, explain how they were basically meant to be and, even though he'd always thought of himself as mostly straight, just _thinking_ about Jared's lips could get him hard. All of that had to mean something, Jensen was certain of it.

"Jared?" He called when he pushed the door open. The dogs not coming to greet him was the first clue. Jensen found them shut outside; Jared's truck wasn't in the garage. He frowned slightly and scratched under his jaw. Calling his friends line only got him the voice mail and Jensen hung up without leaving a message. He had no idea where Jared could be so he'd wait. This conversation was six months in the making anyway, what was a few more hours?

Sitting on the edge of the couch, Jensen twisted his phone slowly between his fingers and inhaled deeply. The smell of Jared lingered in the air and Jensen's heart fluttered oddly in his chest. Now that he'd put the word _love_ to his feelings for Jared, it seemed to more and more make sense. And if Jensen had to admit it, the feelings might run a lot deeper than he even knew.

-=-=-=-

It had been fairly early when Jared left for his jog. He loved running; it made him feel like he was _really_ working hard, working all the kinks out of his body and it was an hour of peace when he could think about all the crazy things that whirled through his mind through the course of his day. Their lives were crazy - they were winding up the end of season five and things were tense. No one wanted to leave each other and yet everyone had other projects to move onto - lives to continue with. Each year it felt like they all ran the gamut of emotions as the final episode approached.

He made good time on his run and was back at the house sooner than he'd expected. The door was still locked which meant that Jensen wasn't home yet. His friend had disappeared early that morning and Jared wasn't quite sure what he was up to but was hoping they could get together and hang out. Time was slipping away from them and sooner rather than later Jensen would be taking off to stay at his L.A. house for a while.

Jared hopped in the shower. The dogs were ready to head out for a walk, he should probably take the recycling out, he was hoping to persuade Jensen to help him move the huge bookshelf in the living room to the other side of the room so Jared's mind was kind of spinning as he washed away the sweat of his run. There was so little time away from filming that it always felt like Jared was trying to cram entirely too much into entirely too little time.

Padding through his bedroom, towel slung low on his hips Jared flicked on his laptop. Drying off he yanked the closet door open to pull out a t-shirt, blue, because Jensen said he liked it when Jared wore blue. Smiling, he dropped his gaze for a moment and shook his head then pulled the shirt down over his head. He tugged a pair of jeans down off the hanger, leaving it clanging on the rod for a few moments Jared turned and sat down on the end of the bed then glanced up at his email. There were _tons_ of unread messages in his email program. Squinting a little, Jared leaned forward wondering what the _hell_ was going on.

Tugging his jeans up he padded back over to the laptop and dropped down into the chair. The first email he clicked open explained exactly why there were so many unread messages behind it. Misha had emailed to find out what the hell was going on.

 _Jared, you guys have obviously been holding out on me and I resent it. Jensen's engaged? Danneel Harris? I really do feel as the only other star of the show that someone could have at least let me know there was a reason for us to be partying. Again - I'm hurt. But not really. Misha_

Blinking, Jared half-smiled and then frowned as he clicked open his browser and googled _Jensen Ackles_ and engagement. Sure enough, every web site he went to that was gossip or entertainment news had an article or at the very least a paragraph about Jensen's engagement to Danneel.

When he finally pushed back from the computer and slammed the top down Jared had _no_ idea what to think. There'd been nothing that had given Jared any indication that something like this was going on. Hell, he couldn't even remember the last time Jensen and Danneel had gotten together but then lately, they'd been doing a lot of their filming separately so maybe...

"Jesus," Jared stood up and moved over to the door grabbing his jacket and heading out. He needed to get the hell out of the house - that was about as far as he could get in his mind.   
Jensen was engaged and Jared knew nothing about it; his best friend. Things had been a little strained at first after what Jared had come to think of as _that night_. Kissing Jensen had been on his mind more than once since it had happened. Contrary to what he might have said to Jensen - he did remember that night. He remembered the feel of Jensen's lips against his and the heat that had flooded through him - _still_ flooded through him when he thought about that night. There were even times when Jared had wondered if there could be something between them beyond friendship but, _fuck_ , how do you bring that up to your best friend.

The answer was obvious. You don't bring it up when your best friend is engaged. You especially don't bring it up when your best friend is engaged and you had _no_ idea.

Jared grabbed the keys to his SUV off the front counter and headed out.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Jared got home he was almost numb but had everything set in motion. One quick phone call and he'd been able to get a meeting with his agent. Most of Jared's friends said that he lived in the moment, made decisions too quickly but this was one time that he figured things were _for the best_. There were times, he figured, when you just had to suck it up and focus on something. The _something_ that Jared had chose was his career.

The front door to the house was open when he finally got back home. "Jen?" He knew that Jensen had to be around; nerves fluttered through him.

Pushing up from the couch at the sound of his name Jensen's lips twitched in a small smile. He crossed quickly through the living room to greet Jared, words already bubbling on his tongue. "Hey there you are. I've been waiting, I, I have to tell you something so I'm just gonna say it. I lo-"

"I know, it's awesome news but I have my own news. We gotta go out and celebrate." Jared stepped forward and slapped Jensen on the shoulder. "I asked Genevieve to marry me and..." Jared shrugged with a half grin on his face, "she said yes." Brushing his hair back off his forehead he blew out a breath. "I know you and I didn't talk about it- but I mean, I didn't even know you were seeing Danneel - so I'm guessing you and I are like, drifting apart a bit or ... something." Jared's babble kind of died off and his brows drew together. "So, yeah. We're both gettin' married."

The words hit Jensen like an unexpected blow to his midsection and he had to hone in on all the acting skills he'd worked on over the years to keep Jared from seeing how suddenly the crushing feeling in his chest expanded. "Wow." He stared at Jared, expecting him to say it was just a joke. He didn't even _know_ Jared was interested in Genevieve like that. But Jared didn't say anything more and Jensen had to force a smile. "That's... wow. Congrats man. That's great. Seriously. Yeah, we'll have to celebrate. Only I should um, I should call my parents. To tell them... yeah." Jensen nodded and turned away, struggling with control as he tried to adjust to Jared's news.

"Called my Mom on the way home, dude, be prepared to go deaf in one ear. I think my head is still ringing." Jared laughed softly. It wasn't exactly that his mom was excited - it was more that she was surprised as hell. She was _so_ surprised that Jared had to explain the entire situation to his mother half way through the conversation when his father was hollering in the background about his mother crying. That one phone call had resulted in Jared pulling over and sitting in a parking lot for over half an hour.

Jared wasn't even sure that telling his mother the marriage was arranged actually made anything any better. His parents couldn't seem to understand why it was important for him to be married and he spent twenty minutes being peppered with questions. It was good practice he supposed. Wouldn't people think it was strange if he and Jensen were engaged all of a sudden and at the same time? What about Genevieve - did she understand that their marriage would be one of convenience? Would she come to family events? Would she be living with Jared? There were answers - but Jared found he was coming up with a lot of them on the spot.

Smiling and shaking his head as he recalled the conversation Jared toed off his boots and moved over to reach out and grab the back of Jensen's neck. "You doing okay? I'm guessing that you and Dani were trying to keep thing quiet. Worried about the fans finding out?" Jensen's neck was warm under his palm and he probably let his fingers linger there too long before he withdrew his hand.

Rubbing at the spot Jared's hand had been, Jensen shrugged. "Yeah. Something like that." He itched to tell Jared the whole thing, the words _I love you_ were still dancing along his tongue and Jensen just felt... resigned. "Well. I guess I'll see you later. Hopefully my mom doesn't kill me via telephone wires." Jensen couldn't even imagine what _that_ conversation was going to be like. But right now staying in the room with Jared was a bit too much so he reached out and squeezed his arm before heading for his bedroom, closing the door quickly behind him. Maybe he'd wait to call his mom until later, even though he'd already missed five phone calls from her. Some things were just too hard to explain.

Jared watched his friend walk away. He found himself taking a step after Jensen, an almost over-whelming urge to tell him the truth rolling over him in waves. Scratching his forehead, he swore softly under his breath and changed direction to head upstairs to his own room.

-=-=-=-

To: j.ackles@verizon.net   
From: danigirl16@yahoo.com

Subject: Colors

Hey,

You probably haven’t gone out and looked at tuxes. The colors are burgundy and cream so we can use roses. I attached a pic of the tux that might be best. Let me know. The wedding is coming quickly so you need to get on this.

Best,

Danneel

Jensen stared at the tux in the picture and that familiar sinking dread that had been growing over the last few months seemed to multiply. It was the end of May, they’d be married in less than two months, and Jensen was fairly sure his options for an _out_ were all but gone. They probably had been from the beginning but he still held on to some hope.

Then there was the whole Jared issue, which was too complicated to even put into words. Ever since the announcement of their engagements had come out, they’d been struggling with trying to keep things as un-awkward as possible. For a week after shooting wrapped Jensen hung around in Vancouver and those little moments of _what if_ kept springing up in the form of too brief touches and lingering moments were their gazes locked and Jensen was _sure_ there was something more between them. Then it would transition back into that weird, fake friendliness that was beginning to define them.

Hitting reply, Jensen quickly typed up a message telling Danneel he was fine with that tux and if she sent him the store info, he’d get one ordered. When it was sent he stared at the screen for a long moment before pulling up his phone and hitting the second speed dial to connect with Jared’s phone.

They hadn’t seen each other in over a month, since the last con, and things there had been even more uncomfortable. Usually during hiatus they hung out, went places, talked on the phone once a day. Jensen thought they were lucky to even get a few text messages exchanged now. He listened to the phone ringing and held his breath, hoping Jared would answer because he _needed_ to hear the guy’s voice.

Jared stretched across the bed and snagged his phone off the nightstand. "'Lo"

Relief flooded through him and Jensen let out an audible sigh. "Hey man, what's up?" There were a million ways to start the conversation and Jensen felt mildly stupid for using this particular one. But what could he say? _Hey guy I'm in love with even though I'm marrying some girl I haven't seen in a year._ No, not really an option.

"Jensen," Jared's expression softened, "I'm okay, little tired, Genevieve was dragging me around all over the city last night making me look at bows, and these little wrapped up silver almonds. Did you even know those things existed?" Rolling over on to his back Jared rubbed at his eyes.

"No. I didn't." Truthfully, Jensen knew nothing about wedding stuff. When he'd spoken to Danneel on the phone a month or two back he'd given her permission to take care of everything. This tux thing was the first he'd heard anything. Though, weirdly enough, he'd received an invitation in the mail the other day. That hadn't been the most fun thing. "Is Gen there now? Am I interrupting?" He hated thinking about the girl there, not that he particularly hated the girl, and he was just a jealous suck at the moment.

"Nah, she's not here, she flew back early this morning." Jared was quiet for a few moments, listening to Jensen shifting quietly on the other end of the line. "How're things over there, down there, with Dani, Danneel." Jared rubbed at his eyes and cringed.

"Don't know. Haven't seen her." Jensen said honestly before he could catch himself. Forcing a laugh he quickly added, "in a few days. I mean. She's been busy with all the details and stuff. We just um, got my tux arranged. And I got your sizes the other day, thanks. I think we should be alright without you trying it on." Because, of course, Jared was going to be in the wedding party. Naturally irony wasn't strong enough a word. "It's all coming up really fast." He found himself whispering the words, wishing Jared could just read his mind and know everything.

"You sound tired," Jared sighed and rolled over on to his side to look out the window. "You'd hate it if you were here. It's been raining for two days - the dogs are driving me nuts, I mean, they just want to go out but I haven't been feeling much like..." he sighed again. "Anyway, we should figure out a bachelor party, could do it together I guess... if you want." Jared had been missing Jensen _much_ more than he should be. There were so many times he thought about Jensen. There were just so many places around the house that Jensen belonged, so many times Jared found himself thinking about those kisses when he knew he shouldn't be.

"Yeah. We should go somewhere. Make it easy for everyone to meet up." Jensen didn't want to think much about a bachelor party but he wanted to see Jared, so it was bittersweet. For a few minutes he simply listened to Jared breathing, wondering if Jared was listening to him breathing as well. A weird swell of emotion had water rising along his eyelids and Jensen sighed, flopping back on his bed. "I miss you." He hadn't been meaning to confess that but it was too late to take it back and he told himself it would be something he said even if he didn't feel the way he did.

"Dude, I miss you too." Jared couldn't help smiling. He did miss Jensen, he missed him every damn time he came through the front door and had to fight the urge to call out for his friend. Jared had thought about a thousand times how he could tell Jensen that his marriage to Genevieve was just a big bearding arrangement. He'd even wondered if he should just _talk_ to Jensen like they used to talk about everything and explain that he'd wondered about what had happened _that_ night, wondered if maybe it deserved more than them brushing it under the carpet like it never happened.

Jared dropped his eyes to the photo he had of he and Jensen on set with Kim Manners. It was one of his favourite photos. "You're happy right? I mean... you know - doing my best friend duty. Chad says that at some point every good best friend has to ask the future groom if he's sure." Jared smiled, but it faded quickly, "so, you're sure right?"

There was only so much lying to Jared that Jensen could take and right now he was at his limit. He started to say yeah, sure, choked on the words and covered it with a cough. "I should probably go," he finally managed to say, scrubbing his fingers against his eyes. "Stuff to do and... yeah. But we'll talk soon about the bachelor party thing right?" Yeah, he was completely avoiding the question but Jensen was rapidly losing it with no real logic to offer Jared about it.

"Oh." Jared squeezed his eyes closed, "okay." His chest was filled with that weird sensation he kept getting when he thought about Jensen, like a tingling ache that lingered far too long. "Call me soon though?"

"Definitely. And you call, I'm around. Always." Jensen wet his lips and hesitated, wanting to say _more_. "Jared, I..." he sighed and shook his head. "Well, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye," Jared murmured and closed his eyes. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that they were apart for a while because right now, if Jensen were anywhere in Vancouver Jared would find him and pull him into his arms and do something that would probably make his best friend think he was crazy. Jensen was getting married which meant _Jared_ had to get his shit together and stop thinking about a night of making out that obviously meant nothing to Jensen.

By the time Jensen managed to pull himself together enough to sit up and push away from the bed, Danneel had responded to his email with the store info. Jensen decided to distract himself from the ache in his heart by calling and placing orders for the required tuxes, going along with whatever suggestions Danneel had already given the store. It wasn't like he really cared about the wedding thing anyway. It was impossible to _care_ when his heart was in a completely different country, mourning the loss of something that never was.

-=-=-=-

Jared stabbed at the doorbell next to Jensen's front door. Dropping his bag onto the path he took a deep breath and peered excitedly through the side window to see if he could see Jensen coming to the door. It had been over a month since they'd managed to see each other. When his agent had called with a possible movie role for the following year Jared had offered to hop and plane and head down to L.A. to meet with the director in person and hopefully, make a good impression.

Almost immediately, he'd realized that a trip down to L.A. could mean a visit with Jensen. No call or email - just Jared standing in front of his friend's house. He'd told himself that he wanted to surprise Jensen but he also didn't want to give Jensen a chance to say no. Crazy. Jared wouldn't have thought he'd even be worried about something like that but things had seemed so strained between them lately. Jared half-hoped it was just the fact that they were only able to chat on the phone sometimes; emails were always kind of stilted. They just needed a good visit. Turning back to face the street Jared waved off his taxi. Even if Jensen weren't home - Jared would just stay there and wait for him.

The last thing Jensen expected to see when he pulled his door open was Jared. He had actually been expecting the delivery of the tuxes, so when he pulled the door open and found himself looking up at his best friend, his heart literally lurched in his chest. "Jared," Jensen nearly gasped in surprise and before he could even think he was stepping forward and throwing his arms around the man. _God_ , he'd missed him and he didn't even realize just how much until now. "What are you doing here? I didn't even know you were coming." He said the words against Jared's ear, not quite ready to let him go yet.

Jared was busy drawing in as much of Jensen's scent as he could. The problem was, it made his heart swell until it felt like something might burst somewhere inside him. Turning his lips slightly toward Jensen's neck Jared murmured, "Meeting with a director - wanted to surprise you." _God_ , Jensen smelled good, and his arms felt good and Jared was starting to feel like he might be in a little over his head.

Smiling brightly Jensen continued to nearly cling to Jared, one hand cupping the back of Jared's neck, the other pressing low on his back. "It's a great surprise." This particular hug was definitely extending too far past normal but Jared didn't seem like he was going to pull back so Jensen continued to hold on. "What director? You're auditioning for something?" Catching up while hugging on Jensen's doorstep was weird, but he couldn't wipe the smile from his lips so it couldn't be too bad.

"Yeah," Jared sighed and pulled back slightly so he could see Jensen's face, "P.T. Anderson's doing this new film - Jesus, it's good to see you." Jared grabbed Jensen by the shoulders and held him back. "You look tired, Danneel wearing you out?" The joke was a bit forced but Jared was kind of reeling from the hug. "Is it okay if I stay with you? I dunno if Danneel-" Jared dropped his eyes and frowned when he realized that he wasn't even sure if Danneel had moved into to Jensen's house.

"She doesn't live here." Jensen said quickly, turning away before Jared could read too much into that comment. "Come on in, please, god it feels like it's been forever." He turned just inside the front walkway, tempted to pull Jared in for another hug but resisting it. "I'm surprised you came alone. Gen didn't want to come down to LA?" Not that he was complaining, at all, but it seemed like the thing you were supposed to ask when you friend was legitimately attached to someone.

Jared blinked a few times, "she's in New York doing some fashion thing. Hey, we can like hang out and drink beer and watch movies or something. Is that okay? I mean...I've really missed you." Jared's mouth closed quickly and then he laughed nervously.

"Most definitely," Jensen nodded and grinned at Jared, heart twisting at the words. "Just throw your bag wherever. Or in a guest room. Are you staying the night? When’s the audition?" He spoke over his shoulder as he headed for the kitchen to grab them both a beer. Jensen still couldn't believe that Jared was here and he had to turn back and look to reassure himself.

"It's tomorrow afternoon," Jared left his bag by the front door, kicked off his shoes and followed Jensen into the house. He was standing right behind Jensen when he turned back from the fridge and if it weren't for the two beers he was holding they would have just about been pressed up against each other again. Smiling shyly Jared curled his fingers around one of the cans and took the beer before stepping back slowly. "Do you mind if I stay with you? I didn't want to assume..."

"Dude," Jensen reached out with his free hand and curled his fingers along the side of Jared's neck, squeezing softly. "You're always welcome here. _Always_ okay?" A smile pulled at his lips and it took a moment for Jensen to realize he'd stepped in and now they were just inches apart. It took real energy to let his hand fall to his side. "I really mean it when I say it's good to see you. I thought I wouldn't get to until the bach-" Jensen cut off, not wanting to talk about that now. "Should we go sit? And movie watch?" They were close enough Jensen could feel Jared's heat and he swallowed thickly.

"Or we could just talk... or something. Have you been, well, I mean, what have you been doing?" Jared stepped back a little more mostly because he was worried that he might just reach out and grab Jensen again. The wall came up a little fast and Jared bumped into it. Laughing at himself he opened his beer and took a quick sip before looking back up at Jensen.

Jared moving away reminded Jensen that the way he felt, the things he thought about, weren't what was the reality between them. A small frown pulled his lips down and he turned, heading for the living room to drop on the far side of the couch. "I haven't been doing much, just... this and that." He shrugged as he opened his beer, glancing over at Jared when he took the other side of the couch. "And you? What have you been up too recently?"

"The usual, running, walking the dogs, mostly I was trying to get my head together 'cause this wedding thing kind of crept up... well, you know how the time blows by when you're waiting for something big like that." Lifting the can to his lips again Jared swallowed and wondered if Jensen could tell how pre-occupied he was. It was just that after all that time, finally sitting across from Jensen - it sort of pulled everything into focus. Suddenly, Jared realized that he could quite happily spend most of his time with Jensen, _any_ damn way that Jensen wanted to spend it with him. Staring, he tilted his head to the side then smiled softly.

It seemed like Jared put a lot of thought into the wedding plans for him and Genevieve. He'd certainly put more effort into than Jensen had with his own. "Yeah. It has just sort of... you know Jared, things with Danneel and I, it's not-" he cut himself off and looked away. There was no right way to explain this and at this point, Jared would probably think the whole idea was insane. He pinched the bridge of his nose and shrugged. "How are your plans going then? Got most things in order?"

"Yeah, listen - Jensen can we not talk about all that wedding shit? I'm just, _God_ I'm so tired of it, ya know? Can we just hang out like we used to?" Jared briefly wondered if he was sounding like a complete idiot and then he saw Jensen smiled and felt relief wash over him.

"Let's do that." Jensen nodded in agreement and settled back in his seat, smiling brighter over at Jared. "So dude, a couple of weeks ago Chris came out and we went out to a bar right? He got completely, totally, shitfaced. No joke. I almost had to carry him home. So we're outside the bar, he goes to hit on a girl and throws up all over her shoes." Jensen's lips twitched into an amused smile as he watched Jared and told a rather pointless story. He just wanted to hear Jared laugh again and know he caused it.

"Oh my God," Jared threw his head back as he laughed, spilling a little of his beer on his t-shirt. Brushing his hand over his chest he shook his head. "Glad to know that some things don't change." Jared's smile stayed on his face as he stared across at Jensen. "Are things, you know, gonna change a lot once you and I..." He'd thought about it, he'd had three hours on the plane to think about it and all those hours at home alone in the house that they shared.

Looking down at his hands, Jensen quickly shook his head. "No, I don't think so. I mean, Danneel's not really keen on Vancouver, so it's not like she'll be moving up there during season six filming." His eyes lifted and he smiled slightly. "I mean, if you still want me to stay at the house. Is Gen moving in there?" They kept tumbling back to the wedding issue, no matter how much they wanted to avoid it. And that was likely because it was coming up so fast. In a month, maybe less he'd lost track of the days, he'd be married. Then everything would be different.

"No," Jared smiled then frowned and shook his head, "I actually-" he cut himself off before he said anything he'd regret. Whether or not they would be living together was something Jared hadn't even asked Genevieve _or_ his agent. "I figured, I mean - she'll be down here in L.A. I mean, Genevieve is working on Flashforward for another season too. So, yeah, it's home man." Jared looked up again and smiled warmly; home hadn't been the same without Jensen.

Something about the word _home_ made Jensen's breath hitch and he moved forward, arms crushing around Jared before he could give it a second thought. "Yeah, definitely home." He didn't even have to take a deep breath the air was filled with Jared's scent but he did anyways, holding it there for a long moment before dropping back on the couch and smiling. "Sorry, guess I missed you more than I realized." Only Jensen knew how much he missed Jared, now at least, and suddenly one more season didn't seem like neither enough time to spend with him. "So hey, are you flying back after the audition? Or can you stay another night?"

"Don't want you to get sick of me," Jared pulled one leg up on the couch and shoved at Jensen with his foot. "What you been doing?" He glanced around the living room, "the place looks the same." Jared was half wondering if Jensen's place would be completely different with Danneel's influence.

"I would never get sick of you," Jensen murmured and laughed softly, rubbing at the spot Jared's foot had touched. "I honestly haven't been doing too much. Read a few scripts, and some books. I went and saw my family a couple of weeks ago, they all say hi and that they miss you." He didn't mention that it had been an awkward and uncomfortable visit wherein his parents expressed how _not pleased_ they were with this fake marriage. They had never even met Danneel, wouldn't until the week of the wedding, and Jensen had come home feeling so guilty he ate an entire carton of ice cream while watching Gilmore Girls reruns. It wasn't his proudest moment.

"What movie were you gonna watch? We could watch you in _My Bloody Valentine_ and drink every time you look all brooding and evil." Jared grinned, nose wrinkling as he teased.

Shaking his head quickly, Jensen groaned. "How about we watch you in _Friday the 13th_ and drink every time you flip your hair back." He smirked at Jared and resisted the urge to touch the man's hair and flip it back for him.

"Dude," Jared's hand stopped half way to his hair, "I don't touch my hair that much. You're just jealous, Mr. short hair," he muttered good-naturedly.

"Maybe I just remember what it felt like to have my hands buried-" Jensen cut off mid sentence, eyes widening as the words registered in his mind. He quickly looked away and took a long drink of his beer.

Jared's chest tightened a little and he shifted nervously. Moving his foot closer, he rested his leg against Jensen's - _just_ like he would have done a thousand times before. _Just like that._ "You never answered me you know. Remember," Jared dropped his gaze to the beer in his friend's hand, "when I asked you if you were happy - you know - you've made the right decision?"

Of course, Jared _knew_ that marrying Genevieve was rash. At the time, it had seemed like the thing he should do, after all, it was better for his career. In theory. In all the time he'd known Jensen he'd never thought that he had feelings for Danneel. It wasn't inconceivable; they moved in the same circles and even shared a lot of friends. Jared had just always thought that Jensen would end up with someone very different.

Frowning slightly, Jensen was a bit relieved Jared had made a comment about his slip of the tongue but he wasn't happy to be back at this. It wasn't like he could just get off the phone quickly now and he was a shit liar when it came to Jared. The truth would be written all over his face. "I guess, some would say it's the right thing to do." He settled with that and shrugged, hand extending out of his control to rest on Jared's thigh and squeeze.

"Jesus, is she pregnant?" Jared sat up straight, spilling his beer again. "I mean, if she is that's okay. Not that you need my permission or approval or whatever-"

"What?" Jensen nearly squeaked, interrupting Jared and shaking his head roughly. "God no, no, no, not even close. Danneel and I haven't even-" He cut himself off once more and scrubbed a hand down his face. "It's not that. It's just..." If he ever wanted an opening this would be it. He could tell Jared everything, admit that the marriage was a sham and he'd never willingly go into it if his hands weren't tied. But Jensen floundered with how to even begin that confession so he shrugged and pushed up from the couch, going to get Jared a dish rag to clean up with.

Turning slightly Jared watched his friend. They'd known each other a long time, years, and with the amount of time they had spent together what with work and living together Jared knew Jensen; he knew his looks, the expressions on his face, the way he moved. This wasn't happy; not the happy that Jared had seen.

When he returned, after a brief pause to lean against the counter and center his thoughts, he forced a smile and dropped the rag in Jared's lap. "Sure I'm happy. Totally thrilled." The words sounded flat even to himself so he tried to distract the moment by wandering to his DVD collection. "Sixth Sense? I know how you love Bruce Willis." Jensen gave his friend a real smile this time and pulled the movie free.

Wiping at his shirt Jared sighed. "Okay, I don't..." Reaching forward Jared set his beer on the coffee table. _I don't believe you._ How could he say those words to his best friend. Jensen had never had any reason to lie to him before. Eyes following Jensen as he leaned down to try and find a DVD Jared pushed up from the couch. "Maybe I should go find a Hotel." Blinking, he lifted his hand to brush his hair back off his forehead and stopped halfway there.

Jensen's heart sank and he dropped the DVD, fumbling down to pick it up. "What? Why? Why wouldn't you stay here?" He dropped the case on top of his TV and headed back to the couch, dropping down. "I want you to stay here. Please."

Rubbing his hands over his face, Jared groaned. "You're ..." he stuffed his hands in his pocket, "there's something wrong and, and I don't know what to do to help or what's going on." Huffing out a sharp breath he sat back down again and stared at Jensen. "Is this-" Jared cleared his throat and chewed on the side of his bottom lip, "is it about the kissing thing because, fuck, if that's what it is I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry - I was drunk and I would never do anything that would screw up our friendship." Pressing his lips together he finally managed to look up at Jensen's face.

Everything kind of happened in a blur, Jensen pushing to his feet as he slowly shook his head. He meant to open his mouth and deny Jared's statement, but then he was kind of pulling Jared forward and bringing their lips together. It was better than he remembered; even if the taste of alcohol was still there they were both completely sober this time around. And Jared's lips were silky soft, parted in surprise against his. Jensen knew he should give the man a chance to pull away but this was basically his one and only shot and he pressed harder forward, lacing his fingers through Jared's hair.

Jared's hands lifted, fell, then lifted again as his heart fluttered and jumped in his chest. Yeah. _That_ was the feeling right there. Sliding his hand over Jensen's hips Jared stepped closer, heat from his friend's body almost immediately seeping through the thing materials between them. It didn't matter what Jared had tried to tell himself, the times he had tried to convince himself it was liquor, they were drunk it meant nothing; _this_ meant something to Jared. Tongue slipping past his lips, Jared moaned and curled his fingers hard into Jensen's hips.

There was something, some meaning behind the way Jared was pressing forward, and Jensen was clinging to it, holding him even closer. Jensen's tongue flickered out to meet Jared's, moaning loudly as his fingers tightened in Jared's hair. His free hand lifted to slide around Jared's neck, fingers brushing the collar bone and working over the skin. Jensen felt like he could spend hours here, kissing Jared, and that clearly was a sign that he shouldn't be doing this at all. Considering he wasn't going to get the option to have this again. The thought alone made Jensen kiss the man even harder.

Jared could hardly breathe. Kissing someone shouldn't feel like this, well, it should but kissing Jensen... They were best friends and Jensen was engaged to be married to a woman he supposedly loved. Tearing his lips away Jared pried his fingers from Jensen's hips and lifted a hand to push his friend back gently. As much as it hurt him to push Jensen away; there was still so much that he didn't understand - feelings he couldn't explain or even begin to work through. And Jensen, he had a fiancée and Jared needed to respect that even if he was fucking up his own life - he didn't want to be responsible for doing the same thing to Jensen. "We... Danneel," he murmured, "I'm sorry. This was... I-"

"Please." For some reason Jensen could feel the tips of Jared's fingers like a whisper of touch pressing into his chest and it made his stomach churn. He stepped back, feeling like he might be sick. Jensen turned away and closed his eyes, feeling stupid for even pushing things like he did. Obviously he misinterpreted things. Maybe Jared was feeling a little pressured with the wedding thing and now he'd just made the man cheat on his fiancée. Clearly he'd just further damaged things between them. "Sorry. Sorry, I shouldn't have, um, sorry." Jensen shook his head and walked into the kitchen, ready to accept the fact that he had some issues that were just going to remain permanent.

Panting softly, Jared watched as Jensen left the room then just let his head fall back and closed his eyes for a few moments. Everything hurt and what didn't hurt ached and Jared wanted to followed his friend and _fix_ everything. Swallowing around the mess of emotion that was nearly choking him, Jared dropped his head back down and moved slowly to the kitchen to lean against the door frame.

"I think I made a mistake, coming here." It was all so much worse now than it had been before. Jared had no way of denying the feelings that kissing Jensen had stirred up in him and there was no way he would do anything to jeopardize Jensen's relationship. All he could do for a few moments was stand there, opening and closing his mouth each time he tried to come up with the right words. "I ... there are some things that we just shouldn't give in to, I didn't think when I came here..." His voice had softened until it was hardly above a whisper.

That was enough of let down for Jensen and he sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, whatever you think Jared. So just, go. Whatever. It doesn't really matter now does it?" He wished he could just tell the man everything, he _should_ have, but that probably fell right into the category of the things they shouldn't give in to. "Here's a question Jared, are _you_ happy? Are you madly in love with Genevieve and completely sure that marrying her is the right choice?" He stood just inside the living room, arms folding across his chest.

Scratching at the back of his neck Jared turned slowly and glanced up at Jensen before dropping his eyes again. "I said I was sorry. Don't beat me up over this, I'm gonna do a great job at that myself." Looking down at the floor for a few moments, trying desperately to get a hold of himself Jared took a few deep breaths. "No," he shook his head, "I'm not madly in love and now more than ever I'm not really sure about anything. Jensen, I didn't even know you were dating anyone - and here you and I are about to get married and we've gotta ask each other questions like this." Raising his eyebrows, Jared smiled sadly.

"You never even gave me the chance to explain. It's not like I even knew you were dating Gen. That day, I was going to tell you..." Jensen groaned and shook his head, sighing heavily. "Why are you marrying her if you're not in love?" Talk about a hypocritical question, but Jensen was holding onto some hope that this would get them _somewhere_.

Biting down hard on his bottom lip Jared shook his head. "I just," Jared's eyes widened and his eyes flitted around the room quickly until they settled back on the floor in front of him for a few seconds, "I just said I wasn't _madly_ in love - _fuck_ \- I don't even know if I believe in that anymore. Let's just," he blew out a breath and took a few steps back, rubbing at his forearm. Pointing over his shoulder at the door Jared smiled slightly and met his friend's gaze. "I'm gonna go - I'm sorry, I'm _really_ sorry."

"Stop apologizing," Jensen whispered and curled his fingers together in his fist. "I kissed _you_ Jared, so get a fucking clue." He rolled his eyes and started off down the hall. If Jared was going to leave, Jensen wasn't going to stand around and watch it. He felt the constricting weight of his future curling in on him and two steps into his bedroom he was slamming the door just to try and escape it.

"Get a fucking clue," Jared echoed in disbelief. They'd said some stupid things to each other over the years but Jensen's words normally didn't cut through Jared like that. Trying to get his shoes back on while his hands were shaking was harder than he'd thought. Finding the courage to actually walk out the door was even harder. Halfway down the front walk Jared swung his bag up over his shoulder and yanked his cell phone out. It had seemed like a great idea to visit Jensen and now... well, Jared had no idea. Jensen had never been so angry with him, never walked away like that. It was a stupid decision. But then, there were a lot of things that Jared was feeling pretty fucking stupid about.

Flipping his cell phone open, he recalled the number for the taxi and ordered another car.

Jensen stood at the window, watching Jared until he slid into the taxi and disappear down the street. It wasn't until five minutes later that he turned away and walked over to his bed, dropping down on his mattress. His eyes drifted over to the picture of him and Jared in a frame on his nightstand and his lips were still tingling. Jensen's phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it up hopefully, wondering if Jared maybe had more to say and they could still rectify the situation.

 _ **Danneel:** have u got the tuxes yet?_

He'd forgotten all about the waiting for tuxes things. Jensen couldn't even bring himself to respond. Today he'd basically witnessed the beginning of the end for his and Jared's friendship and he couldn't even figure out what had really happened.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared had been to bachelor parties before, quite a few of them but _this_ sucked ass. Jensen seemed to be having a good time, and he seemed to be pretty much avoiding Jared. That was okay - after L.A. - things had been a bit strained between them. The problem was that Jared was on his third whiskey and was getting more and more pissed off as he tried harder and harder to figure out why he was _jealous_.

This wasn't about Danneel, _fuck_ Jared barely knew the woman. This wasn't about Jensen having a better wedding, a better bachelor party or anything ridiculous like that.   
Jared was jealous because _he_ wasn't the one who was _with_ Jensen. It was stupid and petty and he knew even as he stood there fuming that he wasn't acting at all like a best friend. Shaking his head Jared waited until he caught the bartender's eyes and held up his empty glass.

Leaning back against the bar Jared watched as Chris leaned in closer to Jensen, tossed an arm over the taller man's shoulders and laughed. It should be Jared over there making Jensen smile. That's what best friend's did. The bartender slid the whiskey across the bar to Jared and he lurched forward. Swaying slightly he steadied himself before heading across the bar. "What you guys talkin' about?" He forced a smile on his face and took another sip of whiskey; at least the burn was something to focus on besides Jensen.

"The red head over there," Chris waved the bottom his glass toward a girl across the room.

Jensen laughed and shook his head, eying the way Jared's body swayed. "That's not true. We were talking about how long it would take Mike to make an idiot of himself." He pointed at Mike trying to hit on some girls at the bar. "You alright?" Jared had been acting off all evening but well, Jensen hadn't been expecting whatever their definition of normal was. It hadn't been that way for a long time. Jensen really missed Jared.

"'Cause I'm not lookin' at woman I'm not okay?" Jared rolled his eyes and walked between the men to sink down onto one of the empty chairs. "Jesus." Jensen hadn't really spent enough time with him since they'd arrived in Vegas to be an accurate judge of whether or not Jared was _alright_.

"No, 'cause you're knocking back drinks like their fucking candy you're not okay," Chris laughed and shook his head, pouring himself another beer from the pitcher there.

This whole experience was more than a little unpleasant for Jensen but he was trying to make the best of it, had even mostly convinced himself to imagine he was just hanging out with friends and not toasting goodbye to the life of a single man. And definitely ignoring that in a week’s time he was going to be _married_. "I was going to say you're not okay because you're acting like someone kicked your dogs or shaved your hair off, or something." Jensen mumbled and drained the rest of his beer, wondering if he really had lost his best friend. He couldn't even remember saying more than a few words to him in the last couple of weeks.

"First of all, _Chris_ ," Jared stood back up and swayed forward slightly so he could jab a finger at Chris' chest, "I’ve had three drinks _but_ the point of a bachelor party is to get drunk so obviously I’m off to a good start." He swung toward Jensen, "and you, don't talk about my dogs." Yeah, that was about the best he could come up with because he'd flown all the way down to Vegas to hang out with Jensen and his friends and Jared had never felt so out-of-place before at anything.

"I think Jensen's supposed to be the drunk one." Chris stood, bristling slightly. Jensen could see the hard line in his back and he stood as well, just to be prepared. He saw Steve slide up to the side of the table, obviously catching the same vibes. "And Jensen's _friends_ aren't supposed to be drunk assholes that go around being dicks to everyone. So you either didn't get the memo or you're not Jensen's friend."

"Hey," Jensen stepped forward slightly, eyebrows narrowed. "Knock it off, both of you. Stop being children." Things were escalating, quickly, and Jensen had never imagined he'd be playing peacekeeper at this party he hadn't even wanted.

"Children?" Jared turned quickly to slam his glass on to the table beside him. "Who's being childish, Jensen? You and I have one stupid disagreement and you just stop talking to me." Jared's eyes were a bit blurry and he rubbed at them as he turned back to Chris, "and _you_ don't be calling' me names you little shit - and don’t say I’m _not_ Jensen's friend. I was his fuckin' friend. I _was_." Jared had no idea where he was going with that train of thought but he didn't have to worry about it too long because Steve was slipping quickly in front of him and pushing him back rather forcefully.

Jared stumbled back a few steps and peered at Jensen over Steve's shoulder as the man tried to tug Christian away.

"Is there a problem here?" Josh asked, joining the group. He looked between Steve, Chris, and Jared, over to Jensen who was just staring in disbelief.

"Jared seems to have a pretty big fucking problem apparently," Chris growled, pushing against Steve's arm.

"C'mon dude, let's just calm down," Steve insisted, pulling harder at his friend.

"What's going on?" Came Tom's question, clearly confused how everything had spiralled so out of control in the few minutes he'd been gone.

Jensen didn't really register any of this, even when Christian continued explaining in a slur of curse words about Jared's _obvious_ problems. Jensen felt like he was in some surreal world, where everything he'd barely been holding onto for the last few months was finally falling away. And no matter how many times he'd worried that things between Jared and him were damaged beyond repair, hearing Jared _say_ it nearly took his breath away. "Was?" He finally asked, voice quiet.

Yet it seemed to work to get everyone to stop their talking. Jensen could feel the weight of their gazes shift toward him but his eyes stayed locked on Jared. "You _were_ my friend?" He asked again, feeling as if his heart was literally breaking in his chest.

Jared felt like things were moving a little too slow. When he finally convinced himself to turn and look at Jensen, the look on his friend's face almost took his breath away. "Jen, things went so," Jared rubbed at his face and looked nervously from one person to another, "I didn't mean-"

"Save it." Jensen shook his head roughly and grabbed his half full beer from the table, lifting it up. "Thanks for the bachelor party guys, it's be _great_." He drained the contents in one long pull before slamming the glass back on the table and spinning, heading swiftly out of the bar to try and find some peace and calm somewhere else. It was bad enough that everything was still happening, the wedding he couldn't stop, but to know Jared had been considering their friendship over? That made his lungs constrict too tight.

"Well?" Josh smacked Jared on the arm. "You broke it. So..." he gestured toward the door, rolling his eyes and putting a hand up to keep Christian from adding anything more.

Glaring at Josh until his eyes started to water Jared lurched forward and pushed past Steve to head off through the mess of people to try and find Jensen. The thing was, in his mind, it wasn't _him_ that had broken anything. Jensen decided to get married without even talking to Jared. Shoving his way through the crowd Jared finally managed to get to the front door of the club and yank it open.

The night air was a little cool, but it was Vegas after all. Jared glanced up and down the busy street quickly and spotted Jensen in the distance. Jensen's head was lowered, hands jammed in his pockets and he was plowing forward like his life depended on getting away from the bar. "Jensen!"

There was no sign the Jensen was slowing so Jared headed off down the street. The whole night had just kind of spiralled out of control. Jared was pissed off, sure, but he hadn't wanted Jensen to be the one who was mad - or - _fuck_ \- whatever Jensen was. They'd been so distant Jared no longer had any idea what his friend was thinking or feeling. Jared lifted his eyes just in time to see Jensen cut down an alley. _Stupid_. He was gonna end up getting hurt something and then everyone would blame Jared.

Lurching forward into a run Jared bumped and stumbled his way through the late night crowd and managed to turn down the same alley. "Jensen, for fuck sakes," he called out as he tripped over a big pile of cardboard that might even have had a person underneath it.

"What?" Jensen skidded to a halt in his tracks, not sure where he was going anyway. He spun around to face Jared, eyes glistening with tears threatening to spill. The pain in his chest kept growing, curling through him, and if there was any hope of him making it through this, it certainly wasn't going to be happening if Jared continued chasing after him.

When Jensen finally stopped walking it was hard for Jared to meet his friends gaze. Jensen's eyes were so sad, so fucking sad that Jared's own lungs did that awful thing where they just sort of expelled all the air they were holding. "Stop." Jared's voice wavered. _Stop_. Things needed to slow down because everything had gone so quickly, falling away from Jared so quickly that he wasn't even sure how to find his way back anymore.

"You're my best friend, I-" Jared pressed his lips together for a few moments and dropped his gaze. "I can't fuckin' do this. I thought I could do this, I really did, Jensen. For you - _God_ I'd do anything but please don't make me do _this_ anymore." He could tell by the look on his friend's face that he had no idea what Jared was talking about.

"Jared..." Jensen couldn't even find a place to begin asking questions. If this were a lighter moment he might have teased the man, asked him if he was breaking up with him, but somehow that brand of humour didn't seem to fit in this space. Instead he simply waited until Jared provided him with some logic behind the outburst.

Jared sighed and stumbled back a couple of steps until he could fall back hard against the brick wall of the nearest building. "We used to be good, ya know? You and me and then that night with the kissing and all this _shit_ was stirred up in me and I didn't know what to do with it." Blinking he tried to make out Jensen's expression in the darkness and blew out a frustrated breath. "You kissed me like .. like it meant something. You know? Like the way people are _supposed_ to kiss each other and then you just got engaged." He pressed his thumb and forefinger hard into his eyes. "You got engaged and I was," Jared swallowed, "I was left with just these thoughts about you..."

Dropping his hands to his sides Jared pushed up off the wall and took a step closer to his friend. "I wanted you so much," his voice broke and he looked down at Jensen's shoulder rather than trying to deal with the burning weight of his friend's gaze. "That kiss just kind of blew my world apart and I started lying in that very instant. I lied every damn time I looked at you because I just kept smiling like everything was fine. _God_ , Jensen. Couldn't you tell? And now... I've fucked everything up."

A half-smile slid on and off Jared's face quickly and he combed his fingers back through his hair. "My marriage, the wedding, Genevieve it's all arranged. It's a contract." Jared shrugged, "she gets a stipend and a house to decorate and she's happy that she'll get the publicity. It's supposed to be good for my career too - make people take me more seriously if I'm not the single guy hanging out with his friends." Another step and he could finally see Jensen's face in the dim light from the distant streetlights. "I didn't plan falling in love with you." Jared blinked his eyes open wider as the words sank through him. "So - I - I didn't know what to do, didn't even realize it - what those feelings were when I found out about her...and..."

Jared held his hands out in frustration. "I didn't wanna do it - but when I found out about you and Danneel, I just figured why not? I'm not in love with Gen, I barely know her - not anymore than you do." Jared shook his head. The entire thing was so beyond ridiculous he was starting to feel like they were in one of their own TV episodes. "I figured it all out too late - that's the thing..." _God_ if only they'd had more time before Jensen had made his decision.

Closing his eyes Jared smiled. "Listen, you gotta go back - your friends..." he dragged his hand down over his mouth and looked up at Jensen's face. "Josh sent me, but if you go back - it'll all be fine."

The weird thing about moments in which you find out unexpected news is often they just kept playing out, never giving you the opportunity to digest what had just been said before the next big thing happened. In this situation, it was Jared leaving. The words were ricocheting through Jensen's mind so fast it was almost painful. _The wedding_. _Contract_. _Falling in love with you_. He was completely, one hundred percent blindsided.

Only he wasn't, not really. Jensen had _always_ known Jared felt more for him, just like he'd always felt more for Jared. Their connection had been instantaneous right from the beginning and it was a level different from that of his and Steve's or his and Chris'. They shared some sort of bond and almost nine months ago they'd shared the most intense drunk kiss of Jensen's life. Less than a month ago there had been yet another kiss and it had shaken him to his very core, so very much Jensen spent hours awake at night thinking about it.

Then there was this confession. Jensen couldn't believe he'd been stupid enough to think that Jared's engagement _had_ been real. But then, Jared had thought - still thought - the same about his engagement with Danneel and he wondered if it wasn't just some tactic they were both using to keep from admitting the truth to each other. Because being two male, best friend/roommate/co-stars was a lot different from being all those things plus boyfriends and lovers. And Jensen had already known how much the idea appealed to him but right now, in the wake of Jared's words, he couldn't think of a single thing suddenly more appealing. Even with the risks, the challenges, it was the only thing Jensen could imagine wanting.

Of course, by the time Jensen could work all that out in his mind Jared was already gone. Pulling his phone out Jensen sighed in frustration and touched the screen, dialling his brother's line. The answer came with a wave of staticy background noise and Jensen began his walk out of the alley after Jared while he waited for his brother to get somewhere quieter.

"Jen? What's going on? Are you alright?"

"Yeah listen, if you see Jared will you just, can you keep him there? Can you just force him to stay and call me right away? It's really important." Jensen wasn't going to panic about his slightly intoxicated best friend meandering through the streets of Las Vegas. No, he was going to find the man, tell him how he felt, and they were going to fucking get through this because there was no way Jensen was passing up on the opportunity of a _them_ now that he knew Jared felt likewise.

"Uh yeah, sure I can do that. But is everything okay with you two? Did you talk?"

"Jared talked, I listened. Then he left and _still_ didn't give me the chance to explain. He's not very good at that," Jensen smiled softly and shook his head, eyes scanning rapidly over the faces of the people he passed by. "Hey I'll call you later and let you know if I find him. Tell everyone to keep their eyes open for me."

"Yeah of course. Jen? You're going to explain this to me right?"

"Yeah, soon. Talk to you later." Jensen pulled his phone back and quickly stowed it, pushing up to his tip toes to peer over the heads of the crowd. As expected, the sidewalk was full of people moving from one casino to the next and Jensen could easily spend hours lost in this one section alone attempting to hunt for the man. Part of him was tempting to pull out a picture and start asking if anyone had seen Jared - cause yes, Jensen had a picture of Jared in his wallet as if that didn't make him feel more pathetic than anything. He resisted the urge though because, even if he wasn't a big celebrity, he still had some fans out there and really shitty luck. Tonight wasn't a night he was inclined to take pictures or sign autographs.

By the time Jensen made it to the courtyard of the Bellagio he was starting to panic a little. Jared could literally be anywhere, and though he doubted anyone would attempt to harm such an intimidating looking guy - come on, six foot four and the muscles he carried? No way would someone be that stupid - if Jared left before Jensen got the chance to talk to him then... It would just be too much.

Climbing up on a bench seemed like a pretty decent idea so Jensen did just that, scanning the passing crowd in one large sweep. He pulled his phone from his pocket once more and dialed Jared's number. It went straight to voice mail and he sighed then dialed the hotel they were staying in. He had the front desk patch him through to Jared's room and he listened to the line ring a good twenty times before giving up and disconnecting the call. Jensen's eyes continued to sweep over the people, sorting through the tourists and desperately seeking a familiar face.

Then, _finally_ , Jensen spotted him a good ten feet away, standing by the fountain in front of the Bellagio and looking more utterly lost that Jensen had ever seen. "Jared!" He called through the crowd but of course it was too noisy for the man to hear him. Jensen jumped down off the bench and focused on keeping his eyes locked on Jared as he weaved through the people to get to him. "Jared!" He called again as he got closer, watching his eyes slowly shift his way at the sound of his name.

When he was finally within two feet of him Jensen stopped, eyes never leaving the man's face. "You're... god Jared; you can be such an idiot sometimes." He smiled fondly at the man even when he was sure his friend's face was somewhere near shocked and pained at the words.

Pushing on despite the reaction, Jensen stepped closer and snagged Jared's sleeve, successfully keeping him rooted in spot. "You keep, _saying_ these huge ass things and never once giving me the chance to explain. That's not fair and I think it's my turn to get to do some talking for a change." Jensen's eyes traced every curve of Jared's face, storing this moment in his memory permanently. "Jared, Danneel and I aren't in love. If you want the whole truth, I've seen her a total of three times since the engagement happened and no, one of those times didn't include me proposing to her."

This wasn't the conversation for such a public place but they were close enough to the fountain to be out of the way of the main foot traffic and Jensen didn't feel like he had to whisper. "I didn't even know. I was never in on the plan. I found out about the same day you did, while listening to the radio on the way home from the mall. I went straight to Marc's and he told me what he'd done, how it was best for my career and what the fuck ever. That was about the same time I realized how devastated I was because I'm so stupidly in love with you I can't even stand the idea of being _fake_ married to someone else."

Jensen's stared up at his Jared with pleading eyes, watching the words ripple a reaction across the man's face. "When I got home, I was going to tell you. That's what I was going to say when you came inside. I was going to tell you how I was in love with you and I had this problem and I needed your help to figure it out." Jensen sighed soft and carded a hand through his hair. "Only, you told me about Genevieve and I thought... maybe I'd missed something. I didn't even know you guys... well... obviously it doesn't matter now. I mean, the not knowing thing."

Looking over to his side Jensen watched some people walk for a minute, thinking Jared probably needed some time to digest the news just as he had. Only Jensen had no intention of taking off into the crowd, not now. When he looked back, Jared was still staring at him and he shrugged and smiled. "So there it is. I'm ridiculously in love with you and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you in _really_ inappropriate ways since we first kissed and I want to _be_ with you. God Jared, given the chance I'd marry _you_." He stepped closer, tentatively; almost scared to see how Jared would react. What if the man thought it was too late? That Jensen's week long sentence until the wedding was too short of a time to make this thing between them okay?

Jared felt a bit like he was on one of those fast trains and whizzing by everything he was trying to see, trying to understand. "I..." his eyes moved over Jensen's face before settled on the green eyed gaze he knew so well, "I don't understand. It was all over the internet - everywhere and-" Jared broke off, knowing this wasn't the place for them to be talking. Reaching out he grabbed Jensen's hand and dragged him closer, "where's the hotel?" Looking around frantically, Jared realized he had no idea where they were - he'd just been following Jensen through the crowd and not really paying attention to what direction they were going.

Turning, Jensen twisted his hand in Jared's until he could thread their fingers together and pulled him in the opposite direction, back the way they'd come. They weaved through the crowd of people and Jensen pulled his phone free from his pocket, sending off a quick text to his brother to let him know he found Jared and things were okay. He was itching to talk now, ready to get this whole conversation out in the open after so many months of keeping it secret. Jensen looked over at Jared, making sure the man still looked certain about following him, and nearly ran the rest of the way when the hotel came into sight.

Once they'd stepped into the lobby, Jensen dropped Jared's hand and turned to him, not sure what to do next. "Where should we talk? Your room? Mine? Um... somewhere more neutral?" His eyes fixed up on Jared once more, fingers slowly curling and uncurling at his sides.

"Mine," Jared stuffed his hand in his pocket and pulled out his wallet to retrieve the key card as he headed toward the elevator. Their rooms were on the Executive Floor and Jared had to slide the key into the reader to get them access before pushing the button for the twenty-eighth floor. As the doors hissed closed behind them Jared smiled nervously down at Jensen, "I'm sorry. Your bachelor party." His brow furrowed even as he realized how ridiculous it was to feel bad about ruining it when it was all a big sham - for _both_ of them. "Chris... _Jesus._ " Kane was gonna kick Jared's ass, he had no misconceptions about that.

Smiling slightly Jensen shook his head. "Don't worry about the bachelor party. Trust me." He laughed humourlessly and shrugged. "As far as Chris... well... let's just deal with this first," Jensen waved between them to signify the million things that needed to be said. "We'll go from there. How you feeling? You uh, seemed a bit on the drunk side earlier." This definitely wasn't a conversation they were having while either was drunk. Jensen had learned his lesson about drunken incidents.

"M'okay," Jared was still feeling the warmth of the whisky but finding out that your best friend was in love with you was strangely sobering. "I can make some coffee. Jen," he shook his head, "we need to talk - this is-" he sucked in a deep breath like he'd forgotten to breathe, "this is _huge_." _Life altering_ was the phrase that kept working its way into Jared's mind.

"I know," Jensen agreed and followed Jared down the hall when the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. This was also not something they could put off any longer and truthfully, Jensen _wanted_ to have this conversation. "Coffee sounds good. I told Josh we were going to talk, so he knows it's okay. He'll spread the word." There was still an awkward tension settling between them but Jensen had a hunch it came from all the questions both likely still had to ask the other.

Unlocking the door, Jared pushed it open for Jensen and waited for his friend to walk in. "I'll make coffee," Jared followed Jensen down the short hall into the suite and grabbed the coffee pot to fill it up. "You can," he shrugged and waved at the room knowing full well Jensen would make himself comfortable. _Life altering_. This was the kind of shit that made people, broke them, shook up things to the point where nothing made sense anymore. Jared caught his own reflection as he leaned over the sink to fill up the coffee pot. _Life altering._

Walking back into the main part of the suite Jared filled the machine and turned the coffee pot on then slipped his boots off and padded over to sit on the chair across from Jensen. His friend was sitting on the edge of the couch and Jared wasn't sure that was because Jensen was half ready to run or was just wondering if Jared was going to. "Coffee's going." Jared smiled weakly.

"Thanks," Jensen nodded slowly and picked at his jeans. It was silent for a few minutes and Jensen couldn't help a soft sigh. "I guess, I mean, did you want to ask some things? You know Jared none of this, if it's too much, we don't have too..." Jensen trailed off and shook his head, staring down at the ground. Maybe he'd just let Jared start.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jared blinked, startled at his own outburst. Jensen had explained that the whole thing had started without him and he'd found out about the same time as Jared - but there were so many times they were together and Jensen could have told him what was going on. "Didn't we used to tell each other stuff like this? You know, the big stuff?"

"I _wanted_ to tell you. I was _going_ too. Then you came in with this Genevieve news and I just..." Jensen rubbed his temple and wet his lips. "Then I was just scared too. I didn't want you thinking I was a bad person, or that I had some twisted lack of self pride that I would just go along with this. And in my defence, it's not like you told me either." They could probably go back and forth like this for awhile.

Chewing on his bottom lip for a few moments Jared stared down at the table between them. "Feels like the closer we want to be the further apart we get." He sighed and sank back in the chair. "I don't know what to do." When he finally raised his gaze and met Jensen's his eyes were tears were prickling at his eyes. The coffee pot started to sputter and pop and Jared pushed up out of the chair again to move toward the machine. "Coffee?"

Dropping heavily back on the couch Jensen nodded, realizing a moment later Jared couldn't see him. "Yeah. Black, please." He had just as little idea what to do as well and Jensen wondered if it was all pointless. "What do you want to do?" Jensen asked softly, hands folding together in his lap.

"Hit rewind and not have to deal with any of this." Jared stirred some cream and sugar into his own coffee and walked back over with two mugs. Handing a mug to Jensen, he smiled down at his friend then hesitated for just a moment before sinking down onto the couch. "We got pretty messed up," he frowned as he took a sip of coffee and burned his tongue.

Sipping slowly on his coffee, Jensen rolled his lips around the taste. "What would you rewind back too?" Which was basically his way of asking Jared if he'd take the kiss back, because yeah, he definitely wouldn't.

Lost in thought for a few moments Jared smiled as he lifted his eyes. "You think I wouldn't want to have kissed you," he shook his head. "S'not true. I've thought about it so many times and how it felt, what it meant. You think I was a complete asshole tonight _just_ because I had three drinks? Been so jealous I could hardly see straight."

Relief washed through him and Jensen nodded, smiling. "Yeah I know, the jealousy thing, it's one of the reasons I couldn't come visit you. I didn't want to run into Gen." He shrugged and reached out to take Jared's hand tentatively, shifting across the couch slightly. "I wouldn't take that kiss back for anything Jared. Or the way it made me feel."

Staring down at their hands Jared slid his palm back enough to thread their fingers together. Rubbing his thumb across the back of Jensen's hand, Jared couldn't stop looking at their fingers. It was so strange to see their fingers twined together. It wasn't that it felt strange because it didn't - it felt perfectly natural - like something they should have been doing all along. Jared had just never figured this was the route they would take.

Staring at Jared's profile, Jensen's smile was soft and warm and he shifted closer until their legs touched from knees to hips. "What do we do Jared? What do you want from me? I... if it meant being with you, I'd do anything. I don't want things to be like they have been. I just want us to be better." His free hand lifted, fingers brushing Jared's jaw. "So, what can I do?"

"You think it'll fuck things up for you if you back out ... wait - I'm assuming. Do you want to back out of the thing with Danneel? Is it something you think is good for your career? My agent said it was but I don't know if he's blowing smoke up my ass or what. John Barrowman doesn't seem to have any trouble and _hell_ there are others who aren't - you know. It's weird that it matters, I mean, it should just be about being happy and why does it-" the thoughts racing around in Jared's mind clicked into place about a second before his body moved forward.

It just seemed like there were some things that he could say better by _showing_ Jensen. Both times they'd kissed it had been Jensen who leaned forward first, Jensen's lips that brushed over Jared's and this time, it wasn't going to be. Grabbing the back of Jensen's neck with his free hand Jared shifted closer and took Jensen's mouth under his own; he crushed their lips together and forced his tongue forward. It was coffee flavoured and sweet and Jared didn't give a _shit_ because he was kissing Jensen and that crazy over-the-top feeling was back. It was that feeling that made sweat break out on his forehead, his pulse race and breathing - well, it became something he just tried to do.

Jensen's eyes clenched closed as his heart pulsed into double time, lips shifting against Jared's. This time, finally, Jensen found himself melting into the kiss without any hesitation. There was no alcohol weighting their decisions, and it wasn't in desperation for something more. He twisted toward Jared's body, trying to get more heat from the man. A moan worked its way through him and Jensen tugged on Jared's hair, pulling him in harder as their tongues met. Then there were words, forming in the back of his throat and Jensen pulled away. "Wait. Wait, I just have to," their lips kept brushing together, bumping and sliding, and Jensen tried to talk around them. "Jared, Jared I want..." He gasped when Jared's lips moved to his neck, exploding heat along the skin. "God damn your lips."

Laughing softly Jared sucked hard on Jensen's skin. It tasted different - not like the women Jared had been with - saltier and Jensen smelled good. _Fuck_ , he smelled great, like leather and cologne and the lingering scent of the bar. Almost toppling off the couch, Jared reached up and grabbed Jensen's shoulders so he could pull himself up and settled himself over Jensen's thighs, straddling his best friend's lap, _straddling_. "God," he whispered, "I-" Jared's voice got caught up in the emotion that was flooding him. Dragging his open mouth up Jensen's neck he finally trailed gentle kisses across his friend's cheek until he could lick his way back into the heat of Jensen's mouth.

It was at least a good ten minutes of solid kissing before Jensen remembered that he had something to _say_. "Jared. Wait. Jesus." Jensen pushed him back softly, holding him by his upper arms. He was painfully hard in his jeans and one quick glance down told him Jared was right there with him. It made Jensen groan and his eyes slowly traveled up the long length of the man in his lap before settling on his flushed face. "Listen, I want to call it off with Danneel. Marc said it was good for my career, whatever. Fuck the career if that's what it means. I want to be with just you, not with some pretend wife. Hell, why don't you and I just get married next Saturday? Shock the hell out of everyone. That would put our names in the news for awhile." He laughed softly at that, shaking his head. "Kidding of course. I just mean, if you want to call off the thing with Gen, then yeah. Yes. Just us okay?" Jensen watched Jared slowly wet his lips and couldn't resist dragging the man back in for another solid kiss.

As the kiss softened, Jensen's fingers relaxing their grip on his upper arms, Jared sat back slightly and stared down into his friend's eyes. "You'll cancel it? It'll be just us?" He waited for Jensen to nod. "Not gonna be easy you know; our managers are gonna kill us. The gossip sites," he shook his head and brushed a hand over his friend’s cheek. "You really don't care about all that shit?"

"None of it." Jensen smiled and looked up at Jared, laying a hand over the one on his cheek. "Let's be honest here Jared. Neither of us are gonna be the next Brad Pitt. And thinking about most of the fangirls, I have a feeling we're gonna have some supporters." He chuckled softly and dropped his free hand to Jared's thigh. "So, would you? Take that risk? Suffer the consequences?" Jensen's heart dipped nervously in his chest. It was a really fucking big step to take but sometimes, some things were just _worth_ it.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." Jared dropped his eyes to Jensen's collar. His friend's skin was flushed and ruddy where Jared's lips had been a few moments ago.

"No?" Jensen looked up at Jared, understandably apprehensive after all the things confessed so far this night.

"Well," Jared took a deep breath and worried his bottom lip with his teeth, brows furrowing, "I phoned Genevieve last night and cancelled everything. Couldn't do it, just felt wrong. For some stupid reason, I thought that maybe I'd be able to say something to you that would change your mind about marrying Danneel." Glancing up, Jared grinned shyly. "Do I still have to change your mind?"

Laughing in disbelief Jensen quickly shook his head and grabbed Jared, pulling him in for a hard kiss. He pulled back with a gasp, hand in Jared's hair controlling him. "No. I think it's safe to say my mind is changed." He tugged Jared in once more and decided there was going to be no more discussing things now. They'd deal with the shit tomorrow, right now he wanted to act on all those things he'd been wanting for months. His lips worked hard against Jared's, hands sliding down from his hair and across his shoulders, lower down along his sides and tracing the brush of cotton covering the man's chest.

"I've wanted you, for so long," Jensen gasped as he tore from the kiss and slid across, lower to suck along the man's jaw line. Jensen's fingers drifting across Jared's waist line until he found the bottom of the row of buttons, twisting them free as his lips connected with Jared's neck and sucked hard enough to mark. The minute three buttons were undone Jensen had one hand shoved between the fabric, fingers splaying wide along firm muscles, savouring the feel of overheated skin.

Moaning quietly, Jared let his spine arch back so Jensen was almost supporting his weight. Everywhere Jensen touched him - lips, fingers, palms - Jared's skin was alight with sensation. _Want_ flickered through his veins so intensely it was almost like that edginess of fear. "Jensen," his voice wavered slightly as his body finally took over and rolled forward toward Jensen in a wave. His lips found Jensen's again, sliding roughly across them and then Jared's arms snaked around the man's neck to pull him closer. He wanted more and had no idea what _more_ meant.

With the last button undone Jensen shoved at Jared hard enough to detach him and push the fabric off his shoulders. His eyes flashed at the look on Jared's face, a greedy sort of lust that he knew only too well. "Fuck. What do- can we- damnit." Jensen shook his head roughly. He was almost drunk with this. He'd never wanted someone so _badly_ as he did Jared at that moment in time. "Bed? Can we just- bed?" He dipped forward and caught Jared's nipple between his teeth, clamping down and pulling just rough enough to test how Jared felt on the subject. It wasn't like being with anyone else. Everything was new, an exploration, and Jensen felt almost giddy at the idea of being able to learn all the things that made the man tick.

"Fuckin' Christ," Jared blurted out and slid a hand around to cup the back of Jensen's head and press him closer. His hips jolted forward and that sensation combined with the sharp sting of Jensen's teeth on his nipple had Jared closing his eyes and letting his head fall back. "B..Bed," he managed to stutter out even though, _God_ the last thing he wanted to do was move and lose the feel of Jensen's mouth on his chest.

Despite what people might think, Jared being taller didn't necessarily make him stronger. Especially since he'd spent almost every day the past few months working out for a solid two hours just because he lacked anything else to do. So it was surprisingly easy to catch an unexpected Jared off guard and shove him up to his feet, pushing up himself a moment later. Jensen pulled his shirt off and threw it across the room, stepping into Jared body and using a firm curl of fingers on the man's belt loop to tug him in and crash their lips hard together, groaning when their crotches collided.

It surprised Jared, the way heat rose in his body when Jensen pulled him around. His friend was strong, Jared knew that, and it was honestly a bit of a turn-on to give up control to someone he trusted so much. Fingers moving restlessly over the overheated flesh of his friend's back Jared's nails scraped forward until he could follow the leather of Jensen's belt to the buckle and un-do it. Biting down hard on Jensen's bottom lip made them both moan and Jared's cock throbbed as the sound trickled down his body.

They stumbled toward the bed, freeing each other of belts and jeans, belatedly stepping back to kick off shoes and pull off socks. Jensen hadn't fumbled with his clothing this much since he was sixteen years old and a virgin. Of course, he'd never been with a guy before so yeah, this was virgin territory. "Have you ever done this before?" Jensen asked in a thick whisper, fingers sliding down Jared's bare chest and tucking under the elastic of the man's boxers. The material was tented up around Jared's arousal and Jensen eyes were transfixed, breath tight and almost painful in his throat.

Shaking his head mutely Jared moved his eyes over Jensen's body. It was strange that they'd seen each other naked before, in the showers at the gym and places like that - but this was totally different. Reaching out as though transfixed Jared trailed his fingers down Jensen's chest, outlining the well-defined muscles and then slipping along the jut of hipbone just above his boxers. When his eyes moved back up to Jensen's face he smiled, licked his lips and closed his eyes as he felt his boxers pulled down over his hips. Nervous, he waited until Jensen had pushed his boxers down far enough for him to step out of them before opening his eyes. This was _so_ different.

Jensen was trying not to stare but it was almost impossible. Jared was _huge_ but Jensen's basis of comparison was pretty limited. So chances were Jared was just proportionate. His eyes didn't seem to want to lift from the red swollen flesh and he swallowed thickly. "Can I... touch?" He asked quietly, hands hovering in the few inches between them. Heat seemed to course through every part of Jensen at a pace to intense to handle.

Jared suddenly seemed to be almost without the ability to speak. He cleared his throat and nodded finally managing a quiet, "Yeah." His hands were moving along the waistband of Jensen's boxers, fingers dipping under the elastic and dragging it a little further down with each pass. He could see the hard line in his friend's boxers and wanted to feel it. Everything was so surreal, glazed with the still waning anxiety from earlier. He'd gone from thinking he might be losing Jensen to feeling like he had so much all at once he would drown. Impulsively he reached down and slid his palm roughly against Jensen's cock; the thin cotton was hardly a barrier and Jared could feel the heat of his friend's arousal.

A shudder curled down Jensen's spine and he thrust forward on instinct, eyes fluttering for a moment. "Shit," he whispered in a rush and curled his fingers slowly around the base of Jared's cock. It was _so_ hot, burning against his palm, and not at all like touching himself. Everything felt oddly backward and Jensen experimentally squeezed, gaze shooting up with a moan fell from Jared's lips. "Y-yeah? You like that?" He wanted to learn all the things that would please Jared and he stroked slowly upward, testing to see where Jared liked pressure more, or the sweep of his fingers slowly.

Swaying slightly, Jared moaned again as Jensen's fingers tightened at the base of his cock. "I'm," he swallowed, "yeah," and clumsily slid his hands under the waist band of Jensen's boxers to push them down until his friend could kick them off.

"Jensen," he said as he swayed forward again. It felt like his knees were going to give out each time Jensen's smooth palm slid over the sensitive flesh of his cock. Taking a half step to the side Jared sank down onto the bed, fingers trailing down Jensen's chest and abs until he could run his finger down the ridged flesh of his friend's shaft.

Hips swaying into the touch Jensen moaned loudly and leaned heavily forward, almost falling onto Jared. He managed to side step in the last moment and he hooked an arm around Jared's shoulder, pulling him down onto the mattress from his sitting place. They fell side by side on the blanket, eyes locking for a long moment before Jensen was pushing forward, rolling on top of Jared and crushing their lips together. He moaned into the kiss as their cocks aligned and rocked together, send waves of pleasures through him. He had no idea before how amazing this could be and now he couldn't seem to get enough.

The weight of Jensen's body jolted Jared; he suddenly couldn't get enough air in his lungs and it was entirely because of the way his heart was going crazy in his chest. Jared felt like he could sense each drop of blood as it moved through his body. Slamming his hands down against the mattress he arched his spine up to press closer to Jensen; he already felt like he couldn't get close enough. Sliding his palms down over Jensen's back Jared squeezed his eyes shut as their cocks slid together again, gasping as heat flared violently in his belly.

Pressing his hands down into the mattress on either side of Jared's body, staring down at the man. "What do you want?" Which translated to, what will you let me do? Because basically Jensen wanted everything, it just mattered in what order it all happened. Tonight or later. "I want... anything. Everything. You, basically." Jensen moaned softly as their hips rolled together, eyes fluttering with another wave of pleasure coursing through him.

It wasn't a question that Jared was prepared to answer. "Everything," he murmured, "you, you - everything." There wasn't a single thing that he could think of that Jensen could possibly do that wouldn't feel incredible. Jared's body was in constant motion under Jensen's; he couldn't stop, it was like each glide of their flesh together was sparking lust to life deep inside him. "You've done this before?" Sliding a leg out further Jared hooked it over his friends and sucked in a breath as Jensen's body sank closer to him.

"No," Jensen shook his head slowly and threaded his fingers through Jared's hair, stroking softly. "I've watched gay porn though, I can figure it out." Jensen chuckled softly and dipped down to drag his teeth over Jared's lower lip. "I don't have any... um, maybe we should just stick with touching." Jensen was a bit nervous, still chuckling in that soft, quiet way. "I swear I'm going to be smoother at some time. I'll get there."

The sound of Jensen's laughter went straight to Jared's cock and he blushed. _God_ , since when did Jensen laughing do _that_ to him. "Your voice, laugh, it's, uh," Jared swallowed and buried his face in the crook of Jensen's neck. Inhaling deeply he smiled against his friend's neck and then let his tongue slip past his lips to ghost over the lightly stubbled flesh. Thrusting up a little harder, braver, Jared let his hands wander down over the curves of Jensen's back to cup his ass. Sucking in a breath he sank his teeth into the flesh of his friend's collar bone.

"God," Jensen groaned and rolled his hips down against Jared's, reeling from the way the bite rocked through him. Both of their bodies moved in unison now, cocks constantly rubbing and meeting, burning together. Jensen needed more friction, already so close to the edge and he rolled off to the side, dragging Jared with him so they faced each other. Their lips met once more as his hand fell between them, stretching to spread wide around both their hard flesh and stroke up. A harsh moan worked its way into the kiss and Jensen jerked forward, shuddering with the spiked pleasure coursing down his spine.

Jared's throat clenched tight around the breath he was trying to suck into his lungs and when he finally managed to fill his lungs he let out a long moan. He slid an arm under Jensen's neck, crooking his elbow up and pulling him harder into the kiss. _Harder_. Jared wanted Jensen not to be so gentle and let him know by combing his fingers up through the man's hair and grabbing it hard, pulling, nails scraping over Jensen's scalp. Each time his hips rocked forward Jensen's fingers tightened ever-so-slightly on their cocks and the heat, the friction, each smooth pass of flesh was driving Jared closer and closer to the release of the heat the was building in him.

Dipping in for another kiss, Jensen picked up speed. He shoved his tongue roughly into Jared's mouth and thrust hard forward, tightening his fingers around them and stroking as hard and fast as he could. His orgasm was threatening his senses, kicking up the speed of his racing heart and the intensity of his moans. At some point Jensen had to tear his mouth away just to suck in a much needed lungful of air. He released it with a drawn out moan, swallowing down something that might sound like a keen. A few more quick jerks and Jensen's body was tensing, fingers tightening as his orgasm shot through him at a blinding speed.

The way everything was happening so fast was leaving Jared's brain no time to catch up with his body. Sucking hard on Jensen's tongue he gripped his friend's hip, it would bruise, he moaned thinking about leaving his finger prints on Jensen's body. The heat of come pulsed between them and splashed on Jared's chest, his arm and desire over-took want inside him and he shuddered as his orgasm tore through his body. Everything inside him pulsed, his body jolted against Jensen as his fingers tightened so hard he _knew_ it had to hurt. But, _God_ he had no control over anything. Writhing, spine twisting with pleasure Jared rode out the waves of pleasure that slammed into him, hips twitching forward with each pulse of come.

Their foreheads met as they panted for air, both coming down from their release and trying to process what had just happened. Jensen wracked his mind for something to say and came up short. There weren't any words to describe this, the pleasure that he'd just experienced, the way he automatically wanted _more_. "Jared..." he whispered and pulled back enough to meet his friend’s eyes, hoping the man would once more be able to see everything he was feeling.

Tears welled in Jared's eyes and he smiled through them at his friend, tilting his head slightly. Jared's fingers twitched on Jensen's hip then ghosted up over his friend's body to settle on his cheek. "I know," he murmured and leaned in slowly to kiss the corner of Jensen's mouth. He did know, this was so much more than he'd ever felt with anyone - _more_ \- and it was like he was instantly addicted. It would be so easy to spend the entire night, the next day, lying there and holding Jensen. No one had ever kissed Jared before like it was _so_ important, so urgent, so _wanted_.

"We really should have done this earlier," Jensen lamented, laughing softly as he flopped onto his back and pulled Jared into his side. A small groan left his lips as he thought about what was to come, how much work it would take to cancel everything. "I might have to get a new PR. I'm not sure I want someone like Marc representing me anyway. The fact alone that he did all of this without asking... it should have been a sign."

Jared slid his arm over Jensen's chest like it was the most natural thing in the world. It _was_ the most natural thing in the world. "You think Danneel will be pissed?" Genevieve wasn't thrilled with Jared changing their plans. She muttered a few things about money and the contract - but Jared informed her clearly that she could go to the press with it if she wanted. There was no reason for him to hide and frankly, he thought the she wouldn't really want to be known in the media as willing to marry for convenience rather than love.

 _Love_

Already, Jared had an inclination that he would have to fight for a long time not to tell Jensen he loved him. Maybe it was one of those things that you couldn't recognize until it was right in front of you -and then when you knew - you just knew. Smiling, Jared rested his chin on Jensen's chest.

"I think she'll be pissed, definitely," Jensen smiled sadly and stroked a hand down Jared's back. "But only because she's put a lot of effort into the wedding thing. In the end it'll be her who looks good in the media. I'll be the one who bailed on her a week before the wedding date. But then I'm still not a big enough name to make headlines for long. I think my parents will be relieved. They weren't really into this idea at all." There were going to be a million things to do the next day but Jensen didn't want to dwell on it any longer. He just wanted to enjoy this moment now with Jared. "I love you," he whispered, eyes closed and a small smile on his face. "So it's worth it."

Grinning brightly, dimples and all, Jared stared up at Jensen. "You do?" His heart was thumping loudly in his ears again.

"Didn't I say that?" Jensen's eyes opened and he stared at Jared, laughing. "I thought I did! God, yeah. I definitely do." He'd never been more sure of anything in his life.

Smirking, Jared reached up and pinched Jensen's nipple. "You're pretty mouthy...and kinda cocky. I like that quality in a ..." He almost said _man_ but really it was just..."Jensen." His lips quirked into a grin again and he reached up to brushed his lips across Jensen's. "Me too."

"You too?" Jensen huffed and smacked Jared's ass hard. "Say the words dumb ass before I _make_ you."

"Bossy," Jared muttered as he settled back down into the crook of Jensen's arm, "I love you." The smile was going to be on his face for a _really_ long time.

Grinning, Jensen brought their lips together, smiling into the kiss the entire time. "I have a hunch you like me bossy," he murmured and pulled Jared close once more.

"I like you any way I can get you," Jared whispered.


End file.
